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The Three Signs It’s Cuffing Season

Gotta keep warm somehow.

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The Three Signs It’s Cuffing Season
Vanity Fair

The change of the season from fall to winter brings new and exciting things every year - cute sweaters and boots, your favorite holidays, and sometimes allergies. But one of the commonly forgotten parts of the transition into winter is a big one: cuffing season. The beginning of winter often brings new relationships - or at least attempts at such - simply for the sake of keeping warm until about March of next year. Here are the three signs it's cuffing season, so you can be on the lookout for the biggest indicator of the coming winter season:

1. It's freaking cold out

The seasons have been changing rapidly, and in the blink of an eye, summer beach days and barbecue nights turned into falling leaves and the revival of pumpkin spice lattes. But now, just as we are getting comfortable with the idea of slightly cooler temperatures and the passing of summer's beautiful existence, we have been abruptly catapulted into freezing temperatures and winter's wrath, as though all overnight.

It's now extremely cold out, you're wearing that heavy coat you forgot even existed, and you know that this is just the beginning of a long season to come.

2. Everyone seems to have the same idea for a solution

There seems to be some sort of unspoken consensus in the general human population that when it gets cold out, you have to find another person to share in the misery of winter with. Perhaps it's to have someone to drag to the awkward family holiday parties, or to have someone to kiss under the mistletoe, or simply to have a warm body to hold on to. But regardless of what the inexplicable reasoning is, everyone magically requires a bae at this time of year - every year.

All your friends are talking about finding relationships. And where did this come from? Your best friend - who just two weeks ago was dressing up as a Playboy bunny and referring to Halloween weekend as "Hoelloweekend" - now has no bigger concern in life than going on dates and finding a companion. Which is fine, but you haven't heard her say the word "relationship" since March... Oh.

And your guy friends are acting even stranger. They're showering, shaving, and dressing nice. They all got haircuts and cleaned their rooms. They now enjoy showing a woman a nice evening by buying her a seafood dinner, rather than by trying to booty call her at 2 am thinking it's a good idea.

Your friendverse is out of order, everyone's acting as though they're under some sort of spell, and you're pretty sure you're getting frostbite on your toes despite the two layers of socks and the Ugg slippers.

Well goddamn, you never thought you'd live to see such an odd day.

3. You have no choice but to accept this new way of life

You don't really know why, but everything your friends are saying - mixed with the bitter cold biting at your nose and ears - suddenly makes sense! Maybe it's not such a bad idea to find a companion - especially someone you can share the holidays with.

You now no longer turn into a bitter old hag when you see couples holding hands in public or rom com trailers playing at the movie theatre. In fact, you find these things kind of nice, and you fantasize about being part of one of those PDA pairings rather than about throwing them off a cliff.

It's kinda nice, isn't it?

So those are the three signs that cuffing season is upon us, and I hope this breakdown made at least a little more sense out of the phenomenon for you folks. Cuffing season isn't something that can be completely backed up by logic and explanation, but we can at least try.

Happy cuffing season, everyone! And for Pete's sake, stay warm out there.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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