"What's your sign?" is a common question asked among the zeitgeist. Some people swear by astrology, while others think that it is a bunch of tomfoolery. Regardless of your affiliation with the zodiac, Lady Gaga as a wide array of songs that almost anyone can relate to, but some might be more of a fit for you. Special thanks to Mychajlo Johnson (@/sadandvalueless on Twitter) for helping me get this in order. He's a witchy woman.
Aries (March 21 - April 19): "G.U.Y."Â
Since Aries are assertive, it only makes sense to match them up with the power bottom anthem. They strive to be the best, and that carries over from the streets to the sheets. And as Gaga's own sign, it only makes sense to give the Queen all the power.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20): "Bad Kids"
A mix of both stubborn and serene, a Taurus is the way they are and won't apologize. "Bad Kids" is a mixture of impenitent rock and a smooth chorus.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20): "Yoü and I"
If you have ever seen the music video for "Yoü and I," you will know why I picked this one for Geminis. Gaga is singing a love song to herself, or more specifically, her alter ego Jo Calderone. Geminis are typically known (and made fun of) for having two faces....easy.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22): "Dope/I Wanna Be With You"
"Dope" is probably one of the saddest songs that Gaga has ever released. It is filled with emotions as are Cancers. She is singing about realizing she needs the people in her life more than the substances she is surrounded by. The demo version, "I Wanna Be With You," is in a similar vein, but is more focused on just the people.
Leo (July 23 - August 22): "The Fame"
Leos LOVE a spotlight. The lion is the king of the jungle, and the Leo is no exception. "The Fame" is about living and loving the limelight. Don't be ashamed! I also have a taste for endless fortune.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22): "Paper Gangsta"
Virgos are direct and logical. "Paper Gangsta" is about knowing what you have, what you need, and the correct ways to go about getting it. Sounds like a match made in heaven.
Libra (September 23 - October 22): "Come To Mama"
"Come To Mama" is a song that says "It doesn't matter that we disagree, we are both humans." While it may still be good to hear both sides, Libras loves that balance.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21): "Hair"
This is my favorite Gaga song, and Scorpios are the best sign so it works out. Scorpios are passionate, fiery, and misunderstood, just like the subject of the song. I'm not saying that because I am a Scorpio or anything...
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21): "Paparazzi"
Sagis are always on the hunt for more information just like the paparazzi. They might try to correct you and be wrong, but they (mostly) have good intentions.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19): "Joanne (Where Do You Think You're Goin'?)"
Capricorns are another sign of balance much like Libras, but maybe with a bit less vitriol. In this song, Gaga is trying to be ok with her aunt's death while also admitting that she isn't fully over it. In the end, she realizes that her aunt can be both in Heaven and here on earth in Gaga's heart. I also chose this version because it's the one with a Grammy.
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18): "Bloody Mary"
A little artsy fartsy, a little religious, and a lot human, "Bloody Mary" fully wraps up what it means to be an Aquarius. It covers Michelangelo. There's a line in French about not wanting to die alone. She talks about Jesus. She brings up how we aren't just pawns in this world. Perfect.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20): "Gypsy"
Regardless of this being a slur, the song perfectly fits the mind of a Pisces: they are dreamers who are still a little grounded on earth. "Gypsy" is about living life on the road and living your dreams. Being the last sign in the rotation, they have learned every lesson of the one before them and are ready to go.
And so it goes. If this hasn't convinced you to download Co-Star and have it stomp on your neck every morning with its notifications, then I don't know what will. Even if you think this list or astrology, in general, is entirely incorrect, download ARTPOP on iTunes. "Every song a hit, and every hit a smack." - Colin Mochrie
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