There are a variety of ways that one would describe the ideal partner. Maybe your ideal partner is blond, or brunette, with straight hair or curly hair. Maybe you want a tall partner or a short partner. People want different things. We all have different expectations from a significant other when we enter a relationship. However, there is one personality trait that we should all look for when we embark on a journey with someone else. We need to be with someone who will challenge us. We need to choose someone who will push us past our own expectations and encourage us to explore our own capabilities. When we date for convenience, we find a world of problems and do an injustice to ourselves and our own personal growth. True love is encouraging your partner to succeed and offering support when needed. True love is challenging one another to push past barriers in order to accomplish certain goals.

A significant other who challenges you…

1. Pushes You to Succeed

A significant other who challenges you, pushes you and encourages you to persist through hardships and bumps in the road. A relationship rooted in complacency is detrimental for both you and your partner. When you date someone who does not challenge you, you have given up on yourself. You have deemed yourself unworthy of finding success. When we date someone who is passive, who does not take a keen interest in our life, we come to believe that our life does not matter. For you to conquer an intended goal, you need all the support and encouragement you can get. A partner who challenges you, who pushes you, also forces you to leap hurdles and break down boundaries in order to find success. A partner who challenges you also teaches you to dig deep, dust yourself off and embrace discomfort in order to make things happen in your life. This partner shows you that your life has value and that you are capable of much more than you even know.

2. Gives You Purpose and Direction

You are who you surround yourself with. If you date someone who challenges you and wants to see you succeed, you begin to push yourself more and exceed even your own expectations for yourself. If your partner does not make you reflect often on your own life, does not make you question what you think you know, then you’ll never better yourself as a human being. You’ll never accomplish what you once might have intended to accomplish. It’s too easy to lose our way and to forget who we are deep down inside. When we are children we have dreams that we often toss to the side when the world get’s scary. We turn our backs on our hopes and expectations and sit idly by as others rise up and accomplish what they set out to do. It’s easy to get lost in this world we live in. It’s easy to place blame on others and deflect our attention to other things. A partner who challenges you and encourages you to succeed, gives you purpose and direction in your life. That person holds you accountable and lights a fire beneath you. They remind you of who you are and who you want to be.

3. Encourages You to Believe in Yourself

There is an untapped energy in all of us. Yet, it’s difficult to channel this effort and energy into something we think exceeds our own capabilities. There are times when belief in ourselves dwindles and, consequently, fades away. We’ve all experienced moments where we lose all hope. We think it’d be easier to sit on the couch watching Netflix and dipping Cheetos in ice cream. But when we give up on our goals, we give up on ourselves. A relationship shouldn’t be passive. We can’t just sit inside with our partner, watching romcoms, trying to forget about the world. For a partner to encourage you to turn your back on your goals is regressive and absurdly unhealthy. Our significant other plays a major role in our own confidence and how we see ourselves. A partner who challenges you offers solace and faith. A partner who challenges you cares about you and wants you to find happiness and direction. That partner will help guide and support you, like a lighthouse on a stormy night at sea, and will never let you give up on yourself. Sometimes all it takes is love and support from someone who believes in you for you to believe in yourself.

We all stand to benefit from a partner who challenges us. It should be one of the most important characteristics on our hunt for love. Next time you are at dinner, look across the table and ask yourself if your partner challenges you. Ask yourself if your partner wants to see you succeed. Ask yourself if your partner believes in you. If the answer to these questions is no, then you might want to reconsider who you have chosen to potentially spend the rest of your life with.