Watching "Sierra Burgess Is A Loser" meant confronting ever self-esteem issues I had about myself. See, I can relate to her on more then a spiritual level but a physical. My high school experience was me being unnoticed, feeling like no one would ever like me, feeling awful about how I looked. Watching Sierra Burgess was in a way like looking in the mirror. "Sierra Burgess Is A Loser" is no way a perfect movie. And it deals with issues of consent and struggles to address the moral issues it brings up. DISCLAIMER: If you do what Sierra and Veronica do during the movie to Jaimee you will not in fact get the guy. But in terms of giving girls who don't look like the stereotype someone to see on TV who they can relate to, it succeeded.
I finally got up the courage to watch it this week and here are 11 things that hit me hard and the lessons I learned from them:
1. I am not alone
It's easy to think you're the only one who feels like a "loser." And watching someone on TV going through exactly what you felt and still feel sometimes, it's reassuring. When you look like Sierra or me there's not a lot of examples depicting and addressing your feelings in media. But finally, we have an example to remind us it's okay, we're not alone in this.
2. It reminded me of my high school fear of never finding someone
Sierra got the guy, and not because of her looks but because of her words. I'm not sure she deserved the guy after all the stunts her and Veronica pulled throughout the movie but the fact she did does mean wonders. If I had her to look up to in high school I would've felt a lot more hopeful for the happy future I dreamed about but seamed out of reach for somebody like me. Maybe, I would've even found the confidence to talk to those I "liked liked."
3. Her pain, was my pain
I'm going to be honest, I cried watching this movie because her pain, it wasn't just hers. It was something I had felt, that others feel every day. Seeing her go through it reminded me of my how much it hurt. And I realized I had ignored this pain for too long and it was time to address it.
4. It gave girls like me a role model to look up to
I'm in college and Sierra now serves as someone for me to remember when I'm doubting myself. Someone for me to remember when I look in the mirror and desperately look for something about me to call pretty. Because she is beautiful and she owns it. She never once talked about trying to change herself! And that's all I had ever been told was the solution: to change how I looked. I wish she would've existed sooner because I desperately needed her.
5. Her story of insecurities, was my real life
Sierra is just a fictional character portrayed with insecurities, but those insecurities, they are real and they effect real people on a daily basis. Seeing her struggle with them reminded me of my struggle and it reminded me that it's possible to overcome them.
6. The movie title calls her a loser
Watching the movie I knew I would see me, and I knew I would equate myself to the same status as being a "loser". It was a pain I didn't want to address, as I knew it was something I deep down believed but had chosen to ignore. I know that's not the point of the title but it is an inevitability for girls like me. Regardless of how it made me feel initially, the movie teaches us we're not a title. Something I desperately needed to hear.
7. She pretended to be someone else reminding me about how at times I wish I could’ve been someone else
Watching the trailer I just couldn't get it out of my head that she was pretending to be someone else. And it just made me remember all the times I wish I was someone different. When I imagine happy endings, even today, I don't see myself. I see the girl I grew up being told I should be: my own version of a Veronica. What Sierra did was no doubt beyond wrong, but the fictional depiction of the inner feelings of someone like me was spot on. If that's how we feel every day, imagining ourselves as someone else, don't you think the movie in a way was showing you how society has made us feel every day is wrong? And how we should be able to see ourselves in the shoes of our own Veronica instead of needing her to begin with?
8. I’ve never been confronted with a character I could relate to so accurately
I love movies and TV shows. And from everything I've watched, never, have I ever seen such a relatable character. She was physically like me, going through similar emotional trauma because of how she looks, and she had the same insecurities. Watching her on my TV screen meant seeing myself without having to imagine a different me instead of always changing myself to fit the character on screen. It meant facing myself, and I wasn't sure if I was ready for that.
9. It was emotionally draining
Watching this movie hit me on a deep emotional level. It opened old wounds and then proceeded to start to heal them.
10. It answered the question: am I allowed to have a happy ending if I look like this?
The answer is a complete one hundred percent yes! And Sierra reminds us of that. Although, once again I will mention that you will never get the guy if you go about it the way she did.
11. Watching the movie means confronting my own insecurities
This movie confronts insecurities I have dealt with most my life. Watching Sierra struggle with these insecurities makes me want her to face them, and when I see myself in her character it leads me to want to face them myself to be happier. Just like how I look at Sierra and want her to find the happiness in herself. She embodies the struggles I face, and challenges me to look them in the eye, recognize them, and then address them.
For me, watching "Sierra Burgess Is A Loser" meant opening wounds I wanted to hide. I don't regret watching it. In fact, I wish it had been made sooner because it was a movie the world desperately needed, a movie I desperately needed.
