Throughout high school, I wasn't too romantically involved. My experiences were confined to a few friends, and for the most part, I was too busy to live any differently.

So, you can imagine my surprise during my first semester of college when I discovered "hang out" was code for "Hey, let's go on a casual date."

I was laying on my bed, a copy of Persuasion [ironically] propped on one leg, a handful pens haphazardly strewn about my bed, and a highlighter in hand when my phone notified me of an incoming text. It was from a guy I'd met the week prior at a scholarship awardee dinner. We had connected quickly and spent the evening just chatting. There was a little flirting, but the whole thing was about as G-rated as it gets.

"Do you want to hang out this week?" the text message read.

It was the first time I'd seen the term -- hang out. I thought about shooting off a nonchalant reply saying sure, but I had a lot of reading to catch up on so maybe we could just meet for a quick lunch or something, but I hesitated.

"Hey, uh, what does it mean when a guy asks you to hang out?" I turned to my roommate.

"Oooo, a guy asked you to hang out?!!!"

I didn't understand her excitement.

"Um, yeah. That guy I met at that dinner last week...so what does hang. out. mean?" I remember saying it with some sort of confused disgust, like this foreign term was negatively weighted in some way.

"Well, hang out is kind of like a casual way of asking you out." She said, matter-of-factly, like this was a page ripped right out of the Dating Manual for Dummies.

I wasn't buying it.

"Wait a sec, you're telling me this guy want to go on a date with me....how did your boyfriend first ask you out?"

My roommate had been in a relationship for a few months, and instead of breaking it off once summer ended, they decided to do long distance.

"Pretty much like that. We texted and stuff and hung out. Then it became more."

So, basically I'm sitting here being told that every hopelessly romantic novel I've sobbed over, every chivalrous deed I've pictured some guy performing for me in some vague future, every romcom I've fallen in love with -- is all just one Big. Fat. Lie. Ok, so that's dramatic and pathetic, but I'm a writer and a dreamer, so imagine those feelings to a lesser -- but still present -- extent.

My ignorance didn't seem to end there. Not one to give into this whole hang out thing, I spent most of the year giving guys the benefit of the doubt by going out with them but not taking the affair too seriously.

I was lunching with a friend, grumbling about college dating, when the label "traditionalist" first got shoved at me.

He didn't mean anything by it, just kind of shaking his head as the words poured out: "You know, you're a traditionalist."

But the word made me feel like I believed in some stuffy, antiquated ideal, and where the heck have I been, because whatever I'm thinking of has been long dead.

Well, I simply won't stand for it.

I don't think the dating culture I picture is completely wiped out. And I've taken it upon myself to decode the inefficiencies of "hang out," just to prove my point:

1. Dating should be fun.

Though the goal of this colloquial phrase is to remove some of the pressure associated with dating, my question is, why is there pressure in the first place? Dating is supposed to be light, a means of connectivity and getting to know other people who may or may not turn into something more. It's supposed to be, dare I say it, fun. When did going on a date being a cumbersome experience?

2. Some girls want to go on dates...like a lot of girls actually.

I hear complaints across the board, from girls and guys alike. Girls lament that dating culture has been lost and dominated by casual hookups and one-night stands (which I'm sure are great in their own way), but girls buy into the whole "Do you want to hang out?" game because in so many cases, it's the only thing being offered.

3. Rejection exists everywhere, and it's time to start forming a thick shell -- for both guys AND girls.

On the other hand, guys complain that asking directly can lead to rejection, and rejection hurts. But hey, rejection exists in the educational world, the job market, and in life. It's character building. And it's not as one-sided as guys seem to think.

For reference, a personal anecdote: A few years back, I had feelings for one of my best friends. I liked him as more than a friend, and I was tired of holding it in, so I told him. And ultimately, he told me he didn't feel the same way. Yes, it hurt, but I grew stronger as a person. I later understood why we couldn't work, and I was able to focus my attention on other relationships. I moved on. Rejection isn't fun, but it's important and it trumps being in a disfunctional relationship.

4. Cost effective dating exists!

The other argument I hear most frequently is the physical cost of dating. Going out all the time is expensive. Fortunately, this is the 21st century, and everyone is concerned with how much they're spending -- guys AND girls. Also, there are dozens of first date ideas that don't cost a lot of money. To run through a few, why not make a few peanut butter and jelly sandwiches (s/o to childhood nostalgia) and plan a hike? Or take advantage of a museum in your area where admission costs are normally low or free? Or have a BBQ with friends? Or go to a free outdoor movie or concert? Or cook a meal together? Or take canvas and acrylic paints to a park and see who can be the better landscape artist? I came up with those ideas in 5 minutes and some are a little different and random, but the point is when you put you mind to it, you can come up with something creative and low cost. If you're set on taking a girl out for a meal, a fancy pizza joint can do the trick for under $20. Going out for ice cream or coffee are also good alternatives. Either way, how much you spend won't determine how much chemistry you have, but if you "don't want to appear cheap" as some of my friends have explained, there are options.

5. What does "hang out" even mean?

We really couldn't have picked a more ambiguous, crowd-pleasing phrase than that. As people, we're not big fans of being unaware. We're not big fans of confusion. We're not big fans of doubt, uncertainty, vagueness. So why did we pick a phrase that encompasses all of those things? My little brother asks me to hang out, my friends ask me to hang out, even my parents ask me to hang out. So how can a person differentiate a friendly hang out from a dating hang out when it's a term tossed around all the time?

So in conclusion to this diatribe, I'm not trying to point fingers or exaggerate some little piece of nothingness. I'm just trying to work through this casual dating thing in my head. And so far, it's just not making sense.