If I counted my whole family, I'd have a lot of brothers. I have 4 on my biological side and I gained 2 when I was adopted around 15 years ago. While I might talk to my biological brothers, I'll never actually known them because knowing someone and being raised with someone are two completely different things.

Ever since I can remember, I've grown up with two brothers. Just two. Not six. I was the only girl in the family (besides my mom) and I liked that. Plus, my brothers I grew up with have a good 15+ years on me, so I was definitely the baby. But when you grow up with siblings with a big age gap, you learn a lot, because they go through a lot and they can give you some good advice about a lot of things. I love my brothers more than they'll ever know, and I'll forever be thankful to be adopted into this family.

As I've mentioned before, I have 4 other brothers that I don't really know. I know their names, I know two of them had babies, I know one has down syndrome, and one is mentally disabled due to a poor foster dad. However, that doesn't mean I know them. I don't know who they are, I have no clue who they actually are, the kind of people they are. It does suck, because just like with my biological parents, I want that relationship to be there. The age gap between me and my biological siblings isn't a lot, no more than 5 years if that. So, we're a lot closer in age than my brothers through adoption are, but I have come to terms that I will probably never have a close close relationship with them.

I have also come to terms with the fact that I will probably never know two of my brothers with disabilities. Yesterday, September 16, my school attended the college fair at UAM, and I saw one of my brothers there. It was completely unexpected, and it made me so emotional. I haven't seen him in years, but I knew him when I saw him. It made me happy and sad to seem him walking alone, happy because he was talking to colleges, seeming to be functioning really well, and sad because I just wanted to go up to him, talk to him. I didn't, out of fear that I might confuse him, or overwhelm him.

Regardless if I ever have a great relationship with for of my brothers, I will love them unconditionally. No matter the choices they make, I will always be their sister, and they will also have a special place in my heart.

So, if you're reading this, just know I love you, if you ever need to talk or anything, I'm always here for you.

And if I gained you through adoption, I love you just as much. You will never be less to me just because we don't have the same blood in our veins.

I will forever be thankful for having 6 amazing brothers.