I am the oldest sibling by approximately two years, however, I do not remember life without my brother Nate. My earliest memories were with him. I never got to experience what it was like to be an only child.

I like to think that Nate and I are the perfect examples of Nature vs Nurture because we grew up in the same house, with the same parents, with the same rules, and we were so close in age that there was never really a chance for my parents to adjust their parenting styles because he was so close behind me in development.

But we are opposite.

Our personalities couldn't be more different, and I know that I took the spotlight for most of our childhood.

I am very outspoken, outgoing, driven.

Nate is shy, go with the flow, and has his own means as to how to accomplishes his goals.

When we were growing up I would answer questions for him, be his voice when he was shy.

The one thing we did have in common was our passion for sports and how we strived to be the best at whatever sport we were doing.

Naturally, sibling rivalry took over and we rarely ever played the same sports.

I would never have gathered that Nate could feel overshadowed by me. When it was time to go to high school I had decided I wanted to attend a different one then what I was originally supposed to. I did this for many reasons, but the main one being they had an excellent swimming program that I knew would excel my swimming career.

It didn't cross my mind that two years down the line Nate would have to follow in my footsteps to the same high school for the simple fact of it was convenient.

It makes sense. You don't want two kids in two different high schools.

That was the beginning for Nate of following in my shadow.

Teachers' would compare him to me, he was always "Gillian's little brother."

At the time I didn't see how that could have caused him build up this jealousy or resentment that he never really got a say because he just had to follow whatever I had already laid out. Even if it wasn't the path he saw himself taking.

Once I left for college I knew Nate was happy to have his own space and be just him.

That was until I decided the end of my freshman year that I wanted to transfer schools to the one he had decided he wanted to attend after graduation.

Being the youngest means whatever your older sibling did you automatically have a standard punishment if you do it.

Being the youngest can also mean that even if you accomplish the same thing your older sibling did, you didn't do it first therefore it feels less like an accomplishment.

Is that true?

No.

But are the feelings valid?

Yes.

To my younger sibling,

You never cease to amaze me in how caring and protective you are. I thank mom and dad everyday for giving me a built in buddy.

I'm sorry it feels like you may get the short end of the stick sometimes, but I can't remember life without you and that's something I remind myself everyday.

XO,

Bean