Recently, I heard a song by Little Mix called "Shout Out To My Ex," and it finally inspired me to write an article about my now ex-boyfriend. Just a few weeks ago, I wrote an article, called "Why You're Worth It," where I bragged about my significant other, who I believed I was supposed to be with forever. Talk about a complete waste. I don't regret actually writing it, and I meant what I wrote, but looks like it doesn't matter now. It seems like no matter how hard you try at something, if it's not meant to work out, it won't.
I love my now ex boyfriend, and I will for a while. He was certainly one of the most important things that ever happened to me. Unfortunately, things did not work out in our favor. Goals have changed and feelings have been lost. He got on my nerves and I know I got on his too. There are so many things about him that I did not like - even things that I extremely disliked. He had a great sense of humor, but was bad at being serious. I felt like I had to force compliments from him all the time. I would beg to FaceTime him just so I could see him.
He was my entire world. Honestly, I could probably type a whole bunch of mushy heartbreak lines about him, but where's the fun in that? He was my home, he comforted me. Everything seemed simple and I was happy with him. But any long-distance relationship is hard, and it's a lot of trouble. We kept fighting and trying to make it work, but it felt forced. We loved each other but the love wasn't enough.
This is not a hate article. Like I said, I still love him and probably will for quite a while; you don't just get over someone you had a relationship with for three years. I'm writing this more as a way to tell you that the guy that you are "supposed" to be with isn't always right for you. No matter how hard you fight, or how many times you say sorry, there comes a point where there is no point anymore. The tears you cry over him do not bother him anymore. The urge to text or call him everyday will fade away. The feeling that someone will love you just as much as he did seems impossible, but it will happen. There are so many upsides to a breakup that it took me a bit to realize.
I want to thank him for all the fun times we had together. I swear every moment we had together, I felt like my heart would burst because I had so much love for him. He made me feel loved and wanted, and he didn't have to do much to make me feel that way. Our trips to Sonic and Walmart were never boring. But he went away, and being away from someone for that long can really make you annoyed and irritated over the tiniest things that normally wouldn't bother you.
No matter how good the beginning and middle were, the end was awful. Fighting everyday and getting aggravated at each other was our routine. It wasn't fun talking to him anymore and I knew he felt the same way. We had real issues. I never wanted our relationship to feel like it was forced, that we were together just because we had been for so long. But that's what it turned into. Neither of us wanted to end it, but we needed to. It was no longer healthy being with him. He no longer made me feel giddy and excited like he did before.
But we were supposed to be together forever, right? That was the plan. We were gonna get married and travel the world together. I imagined our future together to be bright and perfect because the guy I was with was perfect for me. But the guy I was supposed to be with was no longer mine. I cried and prayed every night that God would lead me in the direction he wanted me to go in with this relationship. After a month of constant prayer and sadness, it happened - we broke up over the phone since I was not able to see him. He cried and I cried. We love each other, but we love each other enough to let go of what's broken.
Something I would have never imagined happened, though - on that last phone call we ended in laughter. He had me crying because I was laughing so hard. We were able to joke around about the situation, which made it a lot easier to handle. We talked for over an hour, just messing around and having a good time at twelve in the morning. That's how I knew this is how it was supposed to be. We needed to break up and just be friends. I love him dearly and I couldn't just give up being able to talk to him. That was the sign from God I was looking for.
We aren't supposed to be together and that's okay. I am perfectly fine with maintaining a friendship with him right now. We both have super busy lives, with me in college and him in the Navy. We never had time for each other and now we don't have to worry about that. I'm happy for the most part, but of course, I still get sad over it. I am happy that he is achieving so much with his job and I am so proud of him. I am happy that I can manage to go to my classes and work and not have to worry about him 24/7. This breakup was a blessing for the both of us. Maybe one day our paths will cross again, but until then I am perfectly fine with him being my friend. So, shout out to my ex: thank you for everything.
