Dear Mom,
I cannot thank you enough for everything you have done for me. You have always been the person I ran to when I needed to cry, when a boy broke my heart, when I had friend troubles and basically every other monumental teenage crisis. I can't imagine how hard it was for you to watch me get so upset over something so small. Well, I'm here to tell you the one thing you've been waiting to hear since the day I was born.
I should've listened.
I should've listened when you said you had a bad feeling about the guy I was so obsessed with liking in high school. He turned out to be a completely different person than I thought, and I hated myself for the longest time because I thought there was something wrong with me.
I should've listened when you told me not to hang out with the girl who made my life miserable because I wasn't as cool as she was. I begged you to buy me the same clothes she had, the same makeup and purses she had and even the same hair tools she had. And you did it, too, just to make me happy.
I should've listened when you told me not to stay out too late on a school night - to make sure I got plenty of sleep for the next day. But I didn't go to bed until 2 a.m., and you were mad when I was cranky the next day (or two). I wanted to be awake when all of my friends were, and also to finish the homework I said I finished at 7 p.m. that night.
I should've listened when you said the stress wasn't worth it. I let it consume my life and tear me down. I worried too much about what other people thought of me to have a positive self image. You told me over and over that I was beautiful, and anyone who said otherwise wasn't looking hard enough. You also said I shouldn't worry about helping everybody until I help myself. I worry about too many people to take care of myself the right way.
I should've listened when you told me to eat like I was supposed to. I always said I was too busy and that I would eat when I had time. But really, I would go two days without sometimes, because I was too depressed to think about food.
I should've listened when you said to talk to you about anything that bothered me. I came to you with a lot of my problems, but not all of them. There were times that I felt like a nuisance to everyone around me, especially you, Mom. Some things I thought were better to be kept to myself, but it made me slip deeper into depression.
I should've listened when you said to get counseling, Mom. I needed help, but I wouldn't ask for it. I didn't want to bother a total stranger with my silly little problems. They didn't seem important enough to take it that far at the time.
There are so many things you told me to do that I should've done. But Mom, I'm glad I didn't listen. These past few years have shaped me into the person I am for a reason. Those months I had that seemed like the world was crashing down made me come out stronger than ever before. All those nights spent crying over something miniscule have toughened me up and now, it takes a lot to knock me down. I've been hit hard, Mom, over and over again. And because of you I have learned to stand up after every blow. I love you, Mom. Thank you for always being there and helping me through this crazy thing called life.