Occasionally working the VIP section at the Lincoln Center Atrium has given me a lot of respect for people who work that job full time. So here's a few things you shouldn't ask/tell your bouncer, because we already know the answer...

1. Don't you know who I am?

The only person that I haven't had to ask the name of is Natalie Weiss. So no, I have no idea, just tell me your name and I'll check you off the list, and we'll both just get on our way.

2. *Slips me a $20*

Yes, I will take your money, but no, you still can't come in. Ha.

3. But I'm the performer's Dad/Brother/Son/Nephew/Distant Cousin, you have to let me in!

Sure... sure you are.

4. I'll be right back!

Go get your wine, I will still be here, don't you worry

5. *Tries to flirt their way in*

No thank you sir, I do not welcome your advances. I have no interest in sleeping with a man who could be my grandfather. Also, no you can't come in.

AND THE WORST

6. Can't you just put my name on the list?

No, no I can't. And neither can my friend who's working in the other corner. Sorry not sorry. Now shoo.