Girls, men, guys, dolls… Whatever you want to be called, let’s face it. People constantly think there are certain things that are okay in a relationship when the rest of the world thinks the opposite. Let’s break up with the idea that we need a relationship all the time. Let’s break up with our weird desire to make it work when it isn’t. Worried over the idea that this might be the last girl you sleep with? Wondering why he says you’re the one for him, but when you looked at his phone (yeah…caught you) he says he’s the one for Mom, Pizza Hut and Chinese Takeout?
Stop. Right now. You shouldn’t be in that relationship.
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When you’re arguing with your girlfriend in public every time you tote that little lady out with you, should you be bringing her? Okay, okay. Should you be in that relationship? When you’d rather leave your boyfriend home, go out with your girls and let the pretty blonde boy send you free drinks… should you even be in that relationship?
Catch my drift?
It’s Friday night. Your boyfriend is out with his friends, casually (can you do that?) forgetting you had plans to curl up on the couch together. Complete with an action movie you probably wouldn’t have chosen, Fluffy on your lap, and mascara-stained tears, your Friday night is ruined for the hundredth time. He stumbles in, smelling like a perfume you don’t recognize of a fruity drink you know he doesn’t even like and cigarettes he “stopped smoking” months ago. Girl. Should you even be in that relationship?
Now, red flags don’t segregate themselves to straight relationships. Drama doesn’t only seek out boys and girls who … well, like girls and boys.
You are all sunshine and flowers with your long-haired, curly girlfriend, sharing everything from same-sized clothes to makeup to heartfelt emotion. But if your girlfriend makes you constantly put aside your feelings and emotions to focus on her own, are you really sharing? Hey, I know the Nars Orgasm she borrowed from you (was that all?) looked amazing, so you forgave her for slinging insults your way because you wanted to kiss the sadness from her face, but don’t set fire to the messenger when I ask: should you be in the relationship?
It only happened the one time. He was really sorry, too... You didn't tell your friends because you knew they wouldn't agree with your choice to stay. The next time his fist found your stomach instead of your back, equally as easy to hide, as if he knew what he was doing. You're right to ask that question. Forgive me when I declare that I'm right to ask: should you even be in the relationship?
She only flirts because it's polite.
Now, I know the question is "should you be in the relationship?" but why not include the not-so-relationship relationships that plague the millennial generation?
Your first date went great. She hung on your every word, her bright green eyes sparkling as you found yourself tumbling into the rabbit hole you had no idea was beyond the emerald. Your second date was even better. Her strawberry lips found yours and you never wanted to leave, right? Your third, fourth, fifth dates... They were all fantastic, until you were at a bar and she introduces you as a friend. Uh... What? Do you treat all your friends the way you treated him last night, sweetheart? You ask her for another night out, anywhere, doing anything. She says maybe. Maybe? Come time for that next date, you hear nothing. No apology the next day when she texts you, "What's up?" Alright, boy... here it comes. You ready? Should you even be in this "relationship"?
I get a sinking feeling I'm not telling you something you don't already know. Look at the red flags for yourself.
