Lately, I’ve noticed a very interesting trend on social media and in day-to-day life. People who have been confiding in others or professing their struggles have also been encountering those who try to outdo those struggles by saying that they have gone through something just as hard or even worse than them. Suddenly, going through struggles becomes a competition instead of something that could possibly be causing a lot of mental or physical stress.

While this trend isn’t something necessarily new, it is something that is becoming increasingly more common. Whenever I encounter something like this, it does make me really sad for the recipient of the one competing against the struggle. To me, it completely nullifies the kind of conversation that could have been had because one person decided that their life was harder than another, rather than taking the time to talk with the person about their issues.

One reason I think this issue has become increasingly more prevalent in today’s society is because of the many social issues that have been occurring, namely the election. As I’m sure many people are aware, with the election of Donald Trump, a lot of different stances were taken, and perhaps the biggest one was that of fear. People in different minorities that aren’t “white male” are much more fearful for their well-being compared to just two days prior.

Their fear has been met and justified with actions that people take. Muslim women who would normally wear hijabs are fearful that they will be approached and harassed simply because of their racial/religious identities. African Americans are called the “N” word and harassed because they aren’t well liked by a select type of individual, which I refer to as “scum.”

And when all is said and done, those who are targeted and try and confide in someone are sometimes shot down with insults that tell them that the hatefulness of others was right, that they should “leave the country” or to “die.”

It breaks my heart when I see or read about this occurring. It’s like people have lost their right to have a voice, a notion that this country was founded on. It discourages those from speaking out against something that was potentially very impactful to them. And this doesn’t have to be the case.

The next time someone approaches you with the intention of talking about something that they struggle with, listen to them. Think about why they decided to trust you of all people with the issue at hand. Even if you weren’t the first person that they thought of, if they’re talking to you about it, there’s a reason for it. And instead of trying to lessen the value of their struggle by subjecting them to your own dilemmas, no matter how significant or otherwise, talk with them about their problem first. It might shed some light on how you can overcome your hardships, as well.

I know not everyone does this. But I really do think that it needs to be addressed, especially when such hardships are becoming more and more commonplace. So please, think about how you respond to those who are having a hard time. It might make a world of difference to the ones you talk to.