As I sat in the Union, finishing up my history questions for class, I listened in to the conversation happening at the table. These girls were talking about their desire to be "cool"—talking about the things that surround them that either fall into the category or don't. The phrases "I want to be cool!" and "that's so not cool" and "we should do that! That's cool" littered the conversation. If I had to hear the word one more time, I might have lost it. Yet, instead, I just sat there, answering a history question about every five minutes, distracted by their obsession with the word "cool." They are hooked. Addicted, even. They are obsessed; I am befuddled. I did not realize that when you go to college the stereotype of "cool" follows you from your high school days.
I am here to tell you that "cool" does not need to be your end-goal. You should not be striving for this concept. The stereotype of "cool" is vague. Who actually knows what's "cool"? Your definition is different than the next person. You will be exhausted by the end of this battle. You will scrub yourself with magic erase markers, wiping away your individuality to fit into a box that you deem worthy of being. When you are thinking about being cool, you are not thinking about being yourself. You are putting society's opinion above your own. You will become more insecure the harder you try. Justin Timberlake said "Being cool is about keeping your blood pressure steady. So no. Don't be cool. Be passionate. Be dedicated. Be tenacious. Be uncompromising. Be pissed. Be happy. Be sad." See, even Justin Timberlake is tired of the idea. Find something better for yourself than being "cool."
Here are some suggestions for things you can be. Be them if you want. Be something else if you want. Be everything you want to be. Just don't worry about being cool.
Be Here
When you are in the moment, you are not worrying about what other people are thinking. Enjoy the moments as they come. You cannot experience life when you are more aware of what other people think than what you are doing. Play UNO with your friends. Do a jigsaw puzzle. Jump in a puddle. Don't worry about those other people - be where you are, and enjoy it.
Be Optimistic
My Honors 101 professor at the end of the semester said, "You're young. Don't be pessimistic." We have too much life to be living to be pessimistic. Negativity will drag you down. You won't be excited about the future, you won't feel confident about your next test, you will not dream about getting a puppy one day. Don't shut down your dreams, don't shut down someone else's either. Believe in the good. You will have more confidence in yourself if you have more confidence in your future.
Be Compassionate
As you don't want to be judged, don't judge others (I am so guilty of this). Love others. Love your roommates even when they don't tell you that their five closest party friends are spending the night. Love your friends even when they forget about the plans y'all made for dinner. Forgive them for being forgetful - you're forgetful as well. Love strangers even when they let the library door shut in your face. Maybe they're too wrapped up in their biology exam to think about being considerate. So be considerate instead - love others, because everyone needs nice people in their lives.
Be Passionate
Love what you do. Life sucks if your work sucks. Find what you love, and stick with it. You will be so much happier when you are excited about what you are doing, I promise. People might not like what you're making, create it anyway. People might find what you're doing to be odd, but draw with chalk anyway. Do what you love, and don't care what others think. You'll be happy with yourself.
Be Yourself
No matter what you decide to be, make sure you're comfortable with it. Make sure you are being things for yourself, not others. You will be confident when all of your decisions revolve around how you're living life, instead of around what other people think of the way you're living.
Being cool is overrated. Be for yourself, not others.
