I genuinely do not understand why I ever put up with anything less than I deserve in relationships.
I've always thought of myself as a nice person. I like to go the extra mile for people, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. My parents have always taught me that it's important to be willing to do things for people without expecting anything in return.
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It's really not that difficult to do. There are people in my life that I care about a lot, and I want them to be happy. If you need someone, I'll be there, no matter what. I'm the "mom" friend, and I hold that title with pride.
However, whenever friendships or relationships would end, I'd always end up questioning everything I did for that person. Were they my friend just because of everything I did for them? Did they only like me because I was always there, but when I suddenly needed the same from them, they decided it wasn't worth it?
It really hurts when you suddenly find out people won't do the same for you as you've done for them. No one wants to feel like their friends don't care about them, and it sucks when you realize it's true.
But, some people just love differently than you, and that's OK.
Sometimes, the expectations that you have for people are just a little bit too high. Sometimes, people can't do for you what you've done for them. But, that doesn't mean you have to put up with it.
If you're genuinely struggling, the people you love should be there for you. If you need someone, you shouldn't feel like a burden. I never realized how important this was until I found people that genuinely treated me like I deserve to be treated.
I spent my entire life going an extra mile for people and loving them like I want to be loved while receiving almost nothing in return. That's bad, and I've learned to stand up for myself when people start treating me badly. I won't put up with things that don't match what I need and want.
Just because someone loves you, doesn't mean they care for you. That's a hard lesson to learn.
In the past, there were so many people that I would go to when I was sad or just having a bad day and wanted to vent, but that wasn't important enough for them to spend time or energy on. I thought it was a problem with me when it was actually a problem with them.
I've always felt sort of alone when I go through things. In the past when I've reached out, no one really helped me in a way that I needed, even when I asked. That's wrong, and I refuse to accept that ever again.
Now, if I'm feeling sad, my friends don't stop bugging me until I talk about it. If I need something or just need to vent, I always have people there with no judgment. I don't have to ask them to treat me like how I deserve, and that's the best thing that I could have ever asked for.
I never realized how badly I was treated until I found people that actually help me and care about me, and I can't settle anymore. I shouldn't have to question whether or not you care. Actions speak louder than words, and it's pretty easy to see the truth when you start paying attention to the right things.
