We Should Talk About Suicide Out Loud | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

We Should Talk About Suicide Out Loud

"How can someone be so full of life and then empty? Where does it go?"

51
We Should Talk About Suicide Out Loud
thoughtcatalog

Suicide: the act or an instance of taking one's own life voluntarily and intentionally especially by a person of years of discretion and of sound mind.

Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the United States. According to the CDC, 113 Americans commit suicide every day, with one every 13 minutes. To not be in a suicidal mindset, to be healthy mentally, is something a lot of people take for granted. Suicide isn’t something that simply happens. Suicide is a result of someone being so lost that they think ending their life is the only option, to be so hurt that they would rather end their suffering. It’s not something someone decides to do one day. It’s something that happens when someone loses a long, seemingly endless, internal battle.

Though Mental Health is becoming more accepted worldwide, there is still a stigma that comes along with the disorder, one that makes a human being feel less than human. You cannot simple tell someone with depression to cheer up, you cannot tell someone with anxiety to stop worrying, you can not tell someone with a panic disorder to "just breathe." People have demons that have not gone away, they have just learned to live with them.

Suicide is not a selfish act. It’s not for attention. It’s for relief. As sad as that sounds, it is. Someone who commits suicide is looking for a way to feel better. Suicide is a result of the mental health stigma, it is frowned upon, looked upon in a cowardly manner, it is not accepted fully by society though recently, it is becoming more common and people are seeking help, which is amazing.

An estimated 1.3 million adults aged 18 or older (0.6 percent) attempted suicide in the past year. Males take their own lives at nearly four times the rate of females and represent 77.9 percent of all suicides, though females have more suicidal thoughts than males. Myself included.

At first glance, no one would know I have battled these demons first hand, no one would know that I have spent nights crying alone, wondering why the hell I am even here. No one would have ever guessed I have contemplated suicide during my lifetime. No one would ever guess that I have panic attacks some nights when my world gets so clouded that I feel like I am drowning in my own thoughts. No one would ever know these things because I have never spoken up about it.

I know what it feels to be alone, to feel broken, and worthless though you have friends and family that love you. You are in school, you have friends, you have a job, you have people that love you. But still, you're drowning in this sorrow and you can't pin point when and why this all started. Though still loved immensely, I have been hurt. I have been cheated on and heartbroken, I have been called "unlovable" and "worthless." I have been lied to straight to my face, I have seen someone I love and who claimed to love me, love someone else. I have been told that no one will ever love me, that "no one will ever want someone like you." I have been told to "kill yourself." And at those low points in my life, dying didn't seem so bad.

There were days when I couldn't get these thoughts out of my head, and it was always the things I didn't want to remember, the kind that seems to haunt your life, the words and actions that take up every inch of your body like a dark cloud that is only over you. I couldn't get out of bed, I couldn't pick up the phone and talk to my friends, I couldn't even make it to class.

Then there were days when I did get out of bed, I hung out with my friends and family, I smiled and acted as though nothing was wrong, that I was as happy as ever and that is what they thought because I never spoke up about how I was really feeling. I tried to never cry in front of people, unless absolutely necessary. The night would roll in, and I was back in bed. It was 3:00 a.m. and the demons were awake in my head again, breathing would get hard and the tears wouldn't stop coming. This was a constant and silent cycle, a depressive episode that lasted a couple of days, a constant routine that I learned to live with.

During those times, I had never reached out to a friend, I have never talked to a parent or a loved one about my feelings, because I have always thought it was frowned upon, I thought mental illness could not be taken seriously.

I am not writing this to get help, pity, or sympathy from people because I do not need that, no, I do not need that. I am here to shed some light on the stigma surrounding mental health. I have always been there to lend a hand to someone who needs it, I am always someone that my friends can come talk to or simply be shoulder to cry on. I aspire to help others and make their world a better place. But the first step in feeling better is being heard. This is something I never did, until now.

Looking back on those times, I wish I reached out and got the help I needed. I wish I spoke up to my family or friends, because I know that they love me and want the best for me. I have found self-love, I have fallen in love and been loved back, I have fallen in love with the life I am living. I love my school and what I am studying, I love my body and my soul. I love my friends and my boyfriend. I am so lucky to be where I am today and anyone out there fighting this battle deserves all the love and happiness in the world.

Please please please talk to someone if you need it. Do not be afraid to speak up and get the help you need. Depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts are not needy and selfish. Any mental illness is not selfish, it is real and it is life-taking. Talk to someone about medicine and meditation, fall in love with the world around you, fall in love with yourself first because this world is beautiful and you add so much beauty to it. You are worth more than you know, so please speak up. Depression is not something you can just get over and depressed is not something you can just stop being.

My name is Nicole. I am a junior in college studying psychology and mental health. I hope to help erase the stigma surrounding mental health one day. I am happy, I am alive, and despite it all -- I am still here living.

"Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always." - Robin Williams.

When our deaths are kept silent, depression wins. When our illness goes unacknowledged, another person succumbs to the demons.

End the stigma. Do not suffer alone.

We need you. We need your help, your love, your strength. We need you, because sometimes, we forget that the morning after we are gone, is the one worth fighting for.

1 (800) 273-8255

State Suicide Hotlines

Suicide Text Line

Christian Counseling

Islamic Counseling

Suicide Survivors

Suicide Grief Support

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

A Few Thoughts Every College Freshman Has

The transition into adulthood is never easy

16197
Mays Island
Courtney Jones

Today I started my third week of college at Minnesota State Moorhead. I have survived welcome week, finding my classes on the first day, and being an awkward loner in the dining hall. Even though I have yet to be here for a month, I have already experienced many thoughts and problems that only a new college student can relate to.

Keep Reading...Show less
Students walking on a sunny college campus with trees and buildings.

"Make sure to get involved when you're in college!"

We've all heard some variation of this phrase, whether it came from parents, other family members, friends, RAs, or college-related articles. And, like many clichés, it's true for the most part. Getting involved during your college years can help you make friends, build your resume, and feel connected to your campus. However, these commitments can get stressful if you're dealing with personal issues, need to work, or aren't sure how to balance classes and everything else going on during the semester.

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

9 Reasons Why Friends Are Essential In College

College without friends is like peanut butter without jelly.

6935
Bridgaline Liberati and friends
Bridgaline Liberati

In college, one of the essential things to have is friends. Yes, textbooks, a laptop, and other school supplies are important but friends are essential. Friends are that support system everybody needs. The more friends you have the better the support system you have. But you also have someone to share experiences with. And don’t settle for just one or two friends because 8 out of 10 times they are busy and you are studying all alone. Or they have other friend groups that do not include you. Don’t settle for just one or two friends; make as many friends as you can. After the first couple of weeks of college, most friend groups are set and you may be without friends.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

The Power of Dressing Up

Why it pays to leave the hoodie at home.

5118
sneakers and heels
Sister | Brother Style - Word Press

For a moment your world is spinning. The phone alarm has just scared you awake and you’re flooded by daunting thoughts of the day ahead. You have three assignments due and little time to work on them because of your job. You’re running late because you’ve hit snooze one to many times after yesterday’s long hours. You dizzily reach for a hoodie, craving its comfort, and rush for a speedy exit, praying you will have time to pick up coffee. Does this sound familiar?

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

11 Signs You Live At The Library As Told by 'Parks And Recreation'

A few signs that you may live in the library whether you'd like to admit it or not.

4491
brown wooden book shelves with books

Finals week is upon us. It is a magical time of year during which college students everywhere flock to the library in attempt to learn a semester's worth of knowledge in only a week. For some students, it's their first time in the library all semester, maybe ever. Others have slaved away many nights under the fluorescent lights, and are slightly annoyed to find their study space being invaded by amateurs. While these newbies wander aimlessly around the first floor, hopelessly trying to find a table, the OGs of the library are already on the third floor long tables deep into their studies. Here is a few signs that you may live in the library, whether you'd like to admit it or not.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments