Have you ever felt like you had to compete with someone, whether it was internalized competition or externalized competition?

When it’s internalized one may feel like they are always competing and comparing themselves to others around them, perhaps questioning their self-worth, especially if they aren’t doing better than someone else. One may feel like they need to always come out on top and if they don’t someone is better than them.

I want to tell you that if you’ve felt this way, you are in no way wrong for feeling that way. Many people do. As long as you can recognize that you’re actively trying to compete with someone or compare yourselves to them. Once you can identify it, try to get a handle on it. Don’t let it define your self-worth and don’t let it make you feel like you aren’t good enough if someone else is better at something. Chances are someone will always be better than you at something, because everyone has different talents and different strengths, but they also have different weaknesses too.

Competition, and feeling the need to compete with someone can also be external. Our society has made it so. Whether you’re competing for a spot on a team, a job, an acceptance to a certain college. You may find yourself needing to compete with others on tests, applications, or interviews. You may feel like you always have to stand out and come out on top if you want to get into college or get a job. You’re taught to do better and to be better in order to get what you want. The need to compete in order to get to where you want to be is so imbedded in our society that some people have started to internalize competition and compete in all aspects of their lives.

Because our society is so heavily competitive not only do people start internalizing it, but they also don’t know how to not compete and compare themselves in other situations. One can start feeling like they have to always be the best, whether that transcends into academics or their personal life. The comparisons never seem to end.

While competition can negatively impact the way one feels about themselves, it can also positively impact someone too. Some people thrive off of competition and use it to motivate themselves. It can be a strong motivator to do better and achieve. But how competition negatively impacts people is so important to address. It’s important because it can start to impact the way people think about other people and most importantly the way they think about themselves.

While it can certainly be hard to stop comparing yourself to others, if it’s negatively impacting you, you should focus on ways to reverse those thoughts and change your way of thinking. I know it doesn’t sound easy, but the first way to start is addressing why you feel the need to compare yourself. Once you identify it, address it. Be conscious that you have a problem comparing yourself to others. When you feel like you have to compete or compare yourself, try thinking of your own talents and achievements, lift yourself up and remind yourself that you don’t need to compete with everyone. Like I said before everyone is different and has their own strengths and weaknesses. Just remember you do too.