When I first decided to take a job as a camp counselor I was over the moon excited. I spent two summers as a camper myself and was so happy to relive some of those great memories with campers of my own. When I discovered that I was able to use this job to fufill my internship at school and even receive credit for it, I was even more excited! I spent days shopping for just the right kind of stickers to share with my future camper girls. I purchased a headlamp, extra flashlights because I knew my girls would lose their own. I tried to remember the songs I sang as a child at camp, and bought journals and stationary to truly live in the experience.

As the day finally arrived to be at camp, I was loud, fully of smiles, and shared my excitement with the international counselors that were jetlagged. We spent a full week and a half in training, having talks from lawyers, psychologists, and educational specialists to prep us for what we were about to endure. The day before the girls all arrived, all of the counselors gathered together, excited, and worried for what was about to happen. We shared our worries, concerns, and anticipation with each other.

The day the girls arrived was insane. By the end of the day we were all exhausted and went straight to bed. The days that ensued were filled with jokes, laughing, campfires, singing during meals, and some few strong reprimands for very unruly little girls. Bed times were hard, but activities were fun. After a few days without a day off, the exhaustion and frustration started to build. Being a department head, of a single person department, while also co-counseling a cabin of six unruly little girls, is trying.

I wanted to give up, I called my boyfriend, he said come home. I texted my mom, she said give it a week, I texted my gram, she said give it some time. I sat with some counselors who have been here for years. They said it’s not an easy job, and to let them know what the camp can do in supporting me better. I told my activity and unit directors about how stressed I was, and they were able to give me some extra time off of duties, and suggested some ways to work around some problems I had been having as a one person department.

I decided, maybe not to give it a day, but to give it until my first day off. So here I am, still here. Today, I had a camper draw a portrait of myself, and she wrote on it “The best counselor ever” on it. As I was on my rest hour duty, the director of the camp came to relieve me , and said “go use this time for yourself, and no one else.” Later, twelve girls showed up to my activity and told me, I was a far cooler counselor than the person who ran this department last summer. Then I went on shower duty, and as I sat there making sure the girls took five minute showers, one of the girls waiting in line said, “Hey you’re Faye right? I heard you have some really cool activities, I can’t wait to sign up for some next week!”

Obviously, the positivity really floored me. The support that came to me when I spoke up was astounding. I took a moment to think about why I was stressed the day before, and how that had changed my mood. This job is not easy, and this is coming from a girl who managed restaurants before she was able to drink! I learned something really important out of this though; never give up during trying times. Trying times will always come, and it’s best to prove yourself to yourself and know you can do it. I’m proving to myself, just by being here, that I am capable, strong, and able. That, in and of itself, is much more important to me than the credits I’ll receive for school.