During my high school career I spent a lot of time trying to figure out who I was. I started with one friend group and eventually made my way to another. I didn't know where I wanted to categorize myself. Was I a band geek or a sporty athlete? Did I like to party on the weekends or stay in and hang with friends? While trying to figure out where thought I belonged, I began to lose track of who I really was. I ended up finding myself trying different things. I was always found with a bottle in my hand or a different boy in my life. I can honestly say I was nowhere near in my life to loving who I was as a person, even though at that time I would have told you I did.
As I began my college career, I took a step back and reevaluated myself. There were no social boundaries. There wasn't a stereotype and I began to find what I loved. That was me. I loved who I was. I loved that I was so diverse. I started wearing my hair more natural, began wearing clothes that I personally loved, eventually finding myself happier than ever. I learned that for once I could go out to a party being sober and still have a good time, or that if I didn't feel like going out that night I wasn't shamed on. From there I began to love myself deeper, I learned to love all my flaws. My acne, my long legs, the little pouch I have on my belly, my birthmarks, every part of those things made me who I am. I am not saying I was able to love myself in one day nor am I saying I am happy with everything. I still wish I went to the gym more or ate healthier but that doesn't make me love who I am any less.
Once I was able to love myself I found more and more people loving me. Not the artificial me, but the one who I wanted to truly show to everyone. I eventually was blessed to find genuine friends who were unique in their own ways. Within my first year, I was able to find my amazing boyfriend who helped show me that I needed to love myself before I could be loved. My message is that when you find yourself, your true self, learn to love it. Life will be a little easier and you will be a stronger individual. Trust me, you will be much happier.
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Luckily, many colleges offer a number of ways to take part in campus and community life, without forcing you to dedicate all of your time to these organizations. Here are a few ideas!
1. Look into Housing and Dining.
Many first-year students start off college life in residence halls, and the Housing & Dining network throughout campus often provides multiple opportunities for students throughout the year. Many buildings have student community councils that work to create policies and events that make the dorms a more welcoming home for residents. Becoming a community assistant (or the students who work the desks at the front of many halls) is another easy way to have a consistent, well-paying job only minutes away from your room.
If you really enjoyed your housing experience, consider applying to be an RLA, or, if the school offers it, help to teach the first-year community. You'll get the chance to help support new and returning students over the year, and many of these positions also cover major costs like board and meal plans.
2. Pay attention to campus postings.
This advice is more obvious, but it still gets overlooked a fair amount. Even on a busy day, taking the time to stop around campus and look at the flyers advertising clubs and events can draw your attention to something that you never would've noticed otherwise. Students on many campuses also chalk the sidewalk to catch students' attention while they walk to class. Just make sure that the event you're interested in hasn't taken place already!
3. Find common interest groups.
One way to find friends and get involved is to focus on what you're passionate about. Have you always loved to sing? Do you enjoy playing video games? Is photography your favorite past-time? Have you always wanted to join Greek life? Whatever you love devoting your time to, chances are there are organizations around school who are focused on the same thing. Check the student life section of your university's website, or stop by a student organization fair at the beginning of the semester.
4. Join an intramural sports team.
If you're the athletic type, you've probably heard of intramural sports. Often offered through the Rec Center or the residence halls, most colleges often offer various indoor and outdoor sports to take part in throughout the year. Personal favorite? Mini golf.
5. Work on a cause that you care about.
Whether you're passionate about a political group, a social cause, or a religion, working with people who value beliefs similar to yours can be an easy way to meet people, get a better sense of your own identity, and promote causes that are important to you. Look into getting involved with College Democrats, Republicans, or whatever party that you belong to. Find a club that supports social issues, from women's rights to protecting the environment. If you're religious, look into student organizations based on your faith.
6. Join a club related to your major.
Even if you're not entirely sure what you want to do after school, finding a club or organization related to your field of studies can benefit you long after you leave the classroom. From career-related workshops to conferences to professional connections, these groups have a lot to boast.
7. Get an on-campus job.
If you have the time, need to work, or want to save a few extra dollars, finding a job on or near campus is a time-effective way to build up your bank account and gain work experience. Check in your residence hall (see #1), at local businesses and offices, or make an appointment with your school's career center.
8. Volunteer.
When you're caught up in school life, it can be hard to think about the bigger picture. Volunteering your time to people (or animals/an environment) in need puts things in perspective and allows you to feel good while making a positive difference. Check if your college town has a volunteer page, or look up local organizations requesting help.
Best of luck this year! Get out, and get busy.
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