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I Should Have Loved You First

If I had to do it again, I would have chosen you first.

Leslie Carroll

Feb 27, 2017

Birmingham, Alabama

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Everyone is searching for something or someone.
Either for who they are, who they want to be, or who they want to be with.
We are all lost and in need of something or someone to follow.

If I had to do it again, I would have chosen you first.

The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you” Psalms 32:8 (NLT)
If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. Jeremiah 29:13 (NLT)

All my life I’ve spent looking for something, or someone to complete me.
I have been longing to have someone fill parts of my heart that felt empty.
It wasn’t until the last few years I have found that no one can do that for me.
We are all human and we all fail.
No one will ever be enough for me; no one but Jesus.

Knowing what I know now about who I am and whose I am; I wish I could start over.
I would have fallen in love with the one who created me.
I would have followed his word and his love story for my life.
I would have found myself secure in his love for me instead of desperately seeking approval and love from others around me.

The thing about life is there are no do-overs.
You only have one life to live.
I know I haven't always gotten it right, and that will never change, but from here on out I am deciding to love you first.
I am choosing to set you as number one in my life.
I won't chase after someone or something else, and I won't turn to anyone who isn't chasing after you too.

Search me oh God, and know my heart;
Test me and know my anxious thoughts.
Point out anything that offends you
and lead me along the path of everlasting life. Psalm 139: 23-24 (NLT)

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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I Should Have Loved You First

If I had to do it again, I would have chosen you first.

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No matter how old you are.

1. Build a snowman

2. Start a snowball fight

3. Build a fort

4. Binge-watch Netflix

4. Look out the window

5. Grab coffee with a friend

6. Complete school or office work

7. Sleep

8. Read a book

9. Bake cookies

10. Drink hot cocoa

11. Go ice skating

12. Take a Walk

"I don't want to do things. I want to not do things."

1. When you look at the syllabus and realize there are only three weeks of the semester left; even though the first day was LITERALLY yesterday.

2. You look at your grades and realize they probably aren't as high as they should be, which is a terrifying realization.

3. When you think to yourself at night, "tomorrow, I will wake up early and go to the library ALL day, and, hell, maybe after I'll go to the gym for a little bit, just to push myself that extra mile."

4. Tomorrow actually comes. The inevitable and overpowering sense of procrastination is too strong to overcome.

5. But you DO end up going to the library. Not all day though, but still, a while. But no, you do not go to the gym. Still, you made an effort, so you decide to treat yo' self.

6. When you realize you need to schedule a meeting with your adviser because you need to sign up for classes next semester. But you also realize that since you waited until the last minute, you're going to get stuck with all of the crappy classes.

7. When you low-key try to slip into conversation with your professors that you need extra credit because you're that desperate.

8. When it's already the third time you've seen your adviser in two days because you have no damn clue what you're doing and need all the help you can get.

9. When you apply for a job associated with your major even though you have no experience, but you just want to dive headfirst into the deep end of adulthood and get it over with.

The world is not always sunshine and rainbows, and you do not have to be, either.

It would be so much easier to just pay someone to do it for you

1. Figuring out when to start

2. Searching through list after list to get everything you need

3. Shopping for deals

4. Getting bins to put everything in

5. Figuring what you can’t live without

6. Going through clothes to find what you need

7. Finding out your siblings took something from you

8. Fighting with your parents.

9. Trying to plan things with your roommate

10. The fear of forgetting something

11. Move in day

Relatable moments from one of the best shows I have ever watched.

1. When you fail that midterm you studied so hard for.

2. When your crush finally texts back.

3. When payday comes around.

4. When you accidentally like someone's picture from 108 weeks ago.

5. When someone takes your unassigned assigned seat.

6. When your favorite character in your favorite TV series dies.

7. When that guy/girl you’ve been crushing on agrees to go on a date with you.

8. When you have so much to do, and such little motivation to do it.

9. When someone asks for your last fry.

10. When you try a new health-food craze.

11. When you get new clothing.

12. When you check your bank account.

13. When they're serving good food in the dining hall.

14. When someone tries to tell you what to do.

15. Or just your thoughts about life in general.

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