Over spring break, I was inspired by a conversation between my friend and her parents: can guys get pedicures? More specifically, does a guy/man maintain his manliness if he partakes in the age-old treat of getting his nails done?

Her parents went on to say that, in changing times, yes, it has become more common for men to get pedicures, but that, in doing so, they sacrifice some of their masculinity. A man, or rather, “a manly man” would not get pedicures, for it is a feminine act that men can, but shouldn’t necessarily, partake in. Their generation has built this definition of “man,” and getting pedicures is not a part of it.

Now, they aren’t stopping men from getting pedicures, and I understand their viewpoint, it is somewhat emasculating for a man to enter into a predominately female-oriented activity. But then again, wouldn’t it be strange for a woman to enter into predominately male-orientated activity, such as becoming a CEO or fighting on the front lines? I know this is a large jump from pedicure to workforce, but this idea of gender norms is what the argument is based in.

My friend and I countered with the premise that getting a pedicure is a hygienic process and something that men should not be deprived of, not to mention it just feels good. The manly-man argument came into play yet again; does a man lose a part of his masculine identity by getting a simple pedicure? Off the bat, we said no; after all, it is just a simple, clean pedicure. But the more I thought to myself, the more I questioned this.

If I saw a man walk into a nail salon to get a pedicure, I would be thrown off. I would question why a man would want to get his nails done, and I would look at him differently for it; it is ingrained in me. After a second look, I would internally applaud the man for being brave enough to venture into the female sanctuary, but that initial reaction is still there. These gender norms that control our everyday life are so dominant, and I struggle between fighting for complete gender equality and my immediate reactions that I have learned regarding gender.

Her parents pointed out that it was our generation that influenced this more “bohemian” judgment, and it is. We are a more liberal generation, as each subsequent generation is, but again, we still have the norms that our parents and our society taught us. This is bigger than the mere act of getting your nails done, it reaches into the workforce, into advertisement, and into fashion, because we are completely ruled by what we deem appropriate for each gender. Although times are changing and we are becoming less inclined to follow the norms set before us, we still have work to do. We are entitled to our opinions, but I do hope we grow to the point where a man getting his nails done is not an argument.

Pedicure argument aside, I have come to a crossroad between gender equality and generationally taught norms. This separation between parent and child, and the even larger gap between grandchild and grandparent, is good in that it shows progress, and educational in that we have learned and changed, but is somewhat retroactive, because we are still influenced by our matriarchs and patriarchs to think and do like them. We are an ever-changing society, and as we change so does our understanding of gender. Change is upon us, so strap on your flip flops and head to the nail salon, boys; it’s time you got pampered. After all, we all just want to look our best.