According to SpongePedia, Spongebob Squarepants is 4 inches tall. I am 4'10. We are both very small individuals. Here's what it's like being short, according to my mans Sponge, who suffers from the same short stature as I do.
Spongebob: Aw, cheer up, Squid! It could be worse! Patrick: Yeah. You could be bald and have a big nose.
You're short, but it could be worse. You could also be bald and have a big nose.
Squidward: Do you have to stand so close? You're making me claustrophobic.
If you're a fellow short person, you know that crowds are your worst enemy because your head is in everyone's chests and stomachs and you get claustrophobic, or afraid of Santa Clause.
Spongebob: Don't we look vicious and bloodthirsty?
Random people always come up to me and say I'm so little and so cute. Thanks, but us shorties are like Gremlins: cute until you feed them after midnight. We're cute until you piss us off.
Female Fish: Don't stand too close to a squirrel, Billy. You'll catch its stupid.
I swear some people are afraid to come near me. They think they'll catch the short if they get too close.
Plankton: You know what I'd really like for my birthday? Spongebob: A booster seat? Plankton: A booster seat, hot dog! I mean, no.
it's great.
Plankton: I am small.
Nothing better to end this list off with. Remember short people, great things come in small packages!
