Most people say that I am crazy. That the things I see don't exist. It's all just a figment of an overactive mind trying to dupe me.
I know the truth though. The shadows I see are very real. They taunt and pull at me when their there, and when their not you would never suspect that I'm not normal. I would appear normal, with normal clothes, normal figure, normal face, nothing seeming out of the ordinary.
After all, it's when I'm alone that they truly attack. That they seem to creep out of every nook and cranny that there is until they surround me. That's when the real battle begins.
They berate me with taunts, call me every name they can think of, but they never physically touch me. Yet it seems that they do.
You see sometimes there stronger and just like something out of Harry Potter the words appear on my skin in wounds. They seem to bleed the taunts out of myself. Now it's not only inside but outside as well.
No longer does it only feel like there is a pain in my heart, a cut that is bleeding that I desperately have to try to sew back myself, now there is one on the outside that verifies the pain. It says my pain is real. My pain is here. My pain cannot be ignored. Although my heart is the one that truly hurts. Sometimes it seems to try to break out of the cage that is my ribs as to escape the torment.
The pain makes the drops flow from the corner of my eyes. They start off one by one before turning into a never-ending stream. A stream that seems to have no end. A stream that seems to try to drown me.
The shadows are beginning to close on me. I can feel their cool breathe on my skin, leaving a trail goosebumps in their wake. It makes me curl in on myself as if to keep the heat in me, that if I curl in my heart will stop it's aching and the shadows will disappear.
When the shadows see my form in it's curled up ball, they smile ear-splitting smiles, that show off their glistening fangs. They are predators watching their prey struggle to live. It doesn't fill me with fear. Not anymore, after the countless days like this, their smiles don't scare me as much as another day does.
I begin to wish for release. The tears slow down as I contemplate giving in to them. Letting them whisk me away into the nothingness. "The nothingness is a beautiful place. There is no pain" They tell me.
From across the room, a small buzzing makes me lift my head from my knees. There is a small glowing light. I begin to uncurl, the shadows don't like this and become more feverish in their hunt.
Standing is not an option so I begin to crawl my way over the small light. It glows with love, and I feel like if I can reach it, things will get better.
My movements are slow and jerky, the short distance seems like I'm climbing over the tallest mountain only to have to swim across the widest river.
I keep pushing through. When I finally reach the light I am filled with hope. A light that had one message. A message that said, love. A message that said I could do this. A message saying someone cares. A message that told me to fight.
With a smile, I turned to the shadows, the light in hand. They growled at me, crouching down to pounce, but I was ready. With the light in hand, I imagined all of the shadows in cages and chains. They were not my masters, I was there's.
In a flash, they were being locked up inside the light. Before I knew it the darkness was gone and in its place was my bedroom. The ordinary walls, with an ordinary bed, and ordinary surroundings. The light seemed to examine the room for a moment before floating over to be in front of me. Staring at each other seemed to bring the reassurance that it was ok.
It was over and just like that the light seemed to shine brighter before it dissolved into my chest... right where my heart is.
The battle was won today, but the war wasn't over. There would many more battles to come, some I may lose, but I was going to keep fighting. After all, I had light inside me too.
