it was only a dream.

but it felt so real.

it felt as if my soul left my body

leaving me alone, stranded in the deep

dark, black hole of my thoughts.

it felt as if the woman whom i was raised to be

was now a shell i could only hide under

& allow me to pretend i was a gift, not a curse

it felt as if time was ticking away my mere existence

and my life was slowly being chipped away

it felt numb and raw, like there was nothing left of me except for

my mangled fragments of consciousness.

it felt as if i wasn't real- that instead i was a mere piece of someone else

i could feel the tremors of my heart

as i plummeted down that cliff- oh, that terrible cliff.

i awoke, covered in sweat and tears

& couldn't shake the feeling that

maybe it wasn't a dream.

but i like to tell myself that it was.