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Shit Italian Dads Say

Because they truly are one of a kind.

Angelina Sarro

Sep 03, 2016

Saint Francis College

1366

The Italian father is a unique breed. He's part protective lion, king of the jungle and part teddy bear, cub of mamma. One of the characteristics that most Italian fathers have is their willingness to say whatever is on their mind, often without consideration for the consequences. We say, "All the better." These outbursts bring us laughter and usually make our Italian fathers all the more charming. Here is a list of stuff our Italian fathers say:

I have a guy

This guy

Let me tell you the deal

Don't touch the sauce! Don't stick your finger in your mothers sauce *(he says as he dunks the bread into the sauce to taste it)

Your not going out dressed like that

Your not going out with them

NO BOYS

OHHHH or EHHHH

Listen to your mother

This doesn't happen in Italy

Not at the dinner table

OHH open your eyes!

Watch for this guy

Ok you call me when you get there

Did you see my tomatoes

Back in the old country

Where you think your going

If you don't call me Im gonna come to their house and bang down the door and you won't be happy

Shut your mouth

The godfather is very educational pay close attention, take notes.

Do your homework or I'll break your face

No dating until your 30 and married

You better stop complaining or I'm gonna give you something to complain about

You hungry? Me to, go make something

I love youse never forget that

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Shit Italian Dads Say

Because they truly are one of a kind.

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All names should be "unisex names."

1. Communicating via email can be awkward.

2. Appointments usually accompany weird looks.

3. Introducing yourself to someone is never without a hitch.

4. You’ve probably thought about changing your name.

5. You’re often asked why you have the name you do.

6. You get excited when you meet someone of your gender with your name.

7. You feel awkward when you meet someone of the opposite gender with your name.

8. You’ve had someone say to you, “I knew a [your name], but they were [your opposite gender].”

9. You’ve heard a bad joke/pick-up line or two about your name before.

10. People are surprised when they see you.

11. You’re extra sensitive to other unique or unisex names.

12. You’ve fought with your parents about it.

13. All things considered, you’re happy your name makes you unique.

You know that all of these things apply to you. You'll just never tell.

I get it... I'm pale.

1. At least I can't lose you in a crowd!

2. Oh my goodness your skin is like glow-in-the-dark.

3. Can't you just get fake tan?

4. Do you tan or just burn?

5. Your kids are going to look like Casper the Friendly Ghost!

6. *holds arm against your arm* Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. *holds pale arm against another pale arm* Aw, at least you're darker than her!

8. I laid out by the pool almost every day over break!

9. I haven't used sunscreen since I was, like, five.

10. *adjusts selfie lighting to their face* Oops, where'd you go??

11. *after working out* Your face is SO red!

12. *wears white* Look! You're all one color!

13. You need to get some sun.

14. Aren't you excited for summer?

The struggle bus is real.

1. Child prodigies:

2. Hearing other musicians in the practice room next door and accepting that you will never be as talented as them:

3. That anxiety that takes over before every performance:

4. Taking a million 0 credit classes:

5. When there's a paper due the next day, but you have to attend yet another concert in order to pass a 0 credit class:

6. When your friends try to encourage you after a performance, even though you are criticizing everything in your mind:

7. Knowing that there's always that one professor during juries:

8. The oh-so-attractive band/choir uniforms:

9. Realizing that a college campus is maybe not the best atmosphere to finish your latest composition:

10. Hearing "Oh, you sing opera? I LOVE Phantom of the Opera!" for the hundredth time:

11. When people think finals week is a breeze for you.

12. When you're drowning in the stress that comes with 18+ credits (and not to mention all those 0 credit classes) and people ask you how you are:

13. When it all comes down to it, though, you know that at the end of the day, music is your passion:

Because you need it in your life.

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6. holds arm against your arm Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. holds pale arm against another pale arm Aw, at least you're darker than her!

10. adjusts selfie lighting to their face Oops, where'd you go??

11. after working out Your face is SO red!

12. wears white Look! You're all one color!