Earlier this week the entire country waited anxiously for a small rodent to emerge from months of hibernation and see his shadow... Or not. This crazy tradition brought to us by German immigrants has been going on for over 175 years. Thankfully, Punxsutawney Phil did NOT see his shadow which, according to our fury little weather man, means there will be an early Spring.
For this born and bred Southern girl who moved up north for college, there can be no better news, because almost everything has made me want to crawl back in bed and hibernate for six more weeks!
1. The Michelin affect
Your figure seems to disappear due to the layers of clothing required to stay warm. Even the most perfect of hourglass figures end up looking more like Big Ben. Remember all those cute clothes you got for the holidays? Yeah... there is no use for them now. New blouse? What new blouse? No one can see it under the sweater, scarf and two coats you are wearing.
2. Slip'n Slide weather
The ubiquitous six inches of disgusting mud left over from three feet of ice Snowzilla dumped on us. Enough said. Mud isn't fun and when it is everywhere and cold outside, walking becomes impossible. Getting to class becomes like mud wrestling. You versus the ground. You lose...every time.
3. The mound of course work
After four days of school cancellations the number of accumulated assignments was almost as big as the mounds of snow left by Blizzard Jonas this year. As much fun as the snow days are, when you are forced back to reality, it hits you like a bus.
4.The scale after the snowzilla eating marathon
You rationalize the binging and treat yourself on that first snow day. But when one day turns into a five snow day weekend eat-a-thon, the popcorn, pizza, sweets and sodas start adding up exponentially!
5.Pedicures are useless
The constant longing to wear flip flops all the time but the cruel reality that your toes would actually fall off.6. People who swear its not cold
There is nothing worse than that one person from the middle of Minnesota, or some other crazy cold place, parading around campus in February in a t-shirt and shorts laughing at you for looking like an Eskimo and STILL shivering.
7. A complete an total lack of transportation at anytime
Snow totally affects any travel plans. You can't walk anywhere because it takes forever to trudge through the freezing snow. Forget about driving, because the thing you once called a car is just an igloo in your driveway. If by some miracle you did dig it out, your car driving on the road would be like Mario Cart's Sherbert Land, but with much higher stakes!
8. Why is all the rum gone... and beef and veggies and EVERYTHING?!
It is almost impossible to get your hands of these two staples because the stores are totally out of stock. However, forget about the bread and milk phenomenon, where is my rum? Let's get our priorities straight. The first small flurry seems to coincide with a complete disappearance of grocery staples. I can't get my bread and milk but more importantly, where is my rum?9. Feeling like a lizard
The thing that stinks the most about the winter is dry, cracked skin. Artificial heat is impossible to get used to after living where the A/C never shuts off. My skin and lips are dry to the point of bleeding and in constant need of lotion and Chapstick. Water is completely covering the ground, yet there is not a drop to be found in the air. Blistex has become my best friend.
10. ZZZ for effort
The effort needed to get up is insane. People everywhere have moments when they don't want to get out of bed, but cold weather makes it dreadful. When your bed is a palace built of layers of toasty warm blankets it is nearly impossible to bring yourself to start the day. The minute you triumph and set your feet on the floor you remember the challenge you will face all day (see 1-9). Thus you crawl back in, and the hibernation begins.