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Shedding Light On Loss

Losing a child, a friend and a sibling to a car crash. How you can help give hope to a family who has endured great loss.

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Shedding Light On Loss
https://murchmadness.wordpress.com/

"Unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality." - Emily Dickinson

On New Year's Eve, Brittany made me take off my shoes and socks so we could run around her Mother's apartment barefoot, because she said it was good luck. We live in New England, it was negative five degrees and the snow was two feet high. It was midnight, but we did it. We ran around the house screaming with a group of our mutual friends and Brittany's little sister and brother, Rylee and Griffin. Turned out I had good luck that year. She was radiant, full of light. She ate a lot of ice cream, she ate a lot of hot dogs, she never stopped running around. She loved my polaroid camera, and I loved that she loved it. Even when she pointed it directly in my face and pressed the shutter, blinding me with the flash. She ate pizza with me in the rain at Griffin's baseball games, she'd turn red the way I turned red when Rylee would make faces at my Dad and their Mother if they showed any signs of human attraction towards one another. She threw popcorn at me when we watched movies. She took bags of the clothes I outgrew and always put them to good use. She never complained, never had a bad attitude. If I was upset, seeing her smiling face in the hallways at school always made me feel okay. She was Brittany Alice Murch, she was like a little sister to me, and she was here.

My Dad and Brittany's Mother Michele, split up a few years after dating, I was a Junior and Brittany was Sophomore in High School. It was a difficult time because I had become so close with Brittany, Griffin, Rylee and Michele. They were like a second family to me and I adored them all endlessly. I continued a good relationship with Brittany since I saw her in school everyday, I still gave her hand me downs and I always messaged her on facebook to check in. Griffin and Rylee, always stayed close to me as well. I attended a field trip chaperoning in Rylee's Nature's Classroom last year, and I always stopped to chat with Griffin in the hallways too. I graduated in 2015, and I saw less and less of the Murch trio, but I always made sure to keep in touch on Facebook, even when I was at College. Most of my fondest memories were with the Murch family, and I didn't want to let go of such wonderful bonds I had formed. I always told Michele she was such an amazing mother to her children, and she always will be.


Brittany was a senior in High School come 2016, I remember scrolling onto her Facebook page and seeing her new profile photo, she got bangs! The cutest fringe that made her eyes pop and her cute face stand out. She looked adorable, I messaged her a compliment and went on with my day. I remember thinking, I cannot believe she's a senior this year. I felt like she had just been 13, and her brother was a freshman! I thought how funny it was how time flew by.

On February 24th 2016, I was late to work due to a road closure in town caused by a serious car accident. As I drove the icy detour to work, clutching my steering wheel I remember fearing that someone I had known must have been hurt. It had been 5 hours or so since school started that day and the road was still closed? I had a horrible feeling in my stomach, but I made my way to work. Around 8 P.M my manager sent me on my break, as usual I made myself a latte and went to sit in the cafe of Starbucks, where I was a barista. I had forgotten about the road closure, it had been such a busy night at work. I opened Facebook to mindlessly pass time and what I saw made the pit of my stomach drop. "Rest in Peace Brittany" It was everywhere, all over the Facebook timeline. Brittany who? I remember panicking as I continued to scroll, then I saw it. Not my Brittany?? I knew, but I couldn't let myself believe it. A picture of the car crashed into a tree. The red car, the bumper sticker that said HUB. Brittany Murch. No, I remember thinking, this cannot be real. She can't be gone? She was just posting on her Facebook last night. She was just smiling at me in the hallway? She just drove by me and honked her horn waving manically?


I couldn't stop the tears, I called my dad manically, begging him to tell me this wasn't real. But it was real, and it was worse than I imagined. Brittany's brother Griffin was in the car with her that morning on their way to school when they hit black ice and then hit a tree. He was in the PICU with a traumatic brain injury. That feeling in my stomach came back, I wanted to fix this, do something to make this better. I wanted to call Michele and tell her to keep breathing, that we all loved and supported her. But I didn't have words, I felt hollowed out. I couldn't imagine how Michele felt, knowing I thought my own pain was unbearable. I was questioning how the universe could do this, to Brittany, to Griffin, to Rylee, to Michele. I drove home that night 20 mph, even on the highway. I pulled over on my way home, next to the tree that took away Brittany, and I cried for a very, very long time.



The days after the accident were spent crying, having no idea how I would go about reaching out to Michele, having no idea how to be supportive, I gave myself time to try and grieve, for the first time in my life. I attended Brittany's service with my father, and finally was able to see Michele and Rylee. It was a blur of tears and heartbreak, but I hugged both of them with every inch of strength I could muster up. I wanted give Brittany's family every ounce of hope I had, every bit of strength. Because they needed it, Michele was one of the warmest, kindest people I had ever met and I love her dearly, and to know such a tragedy had struck her family, sent me into a whirlwind of feeling I had never felt before.

I did all I could over the next few months to support the Murch family, visiting Michele to spend awhile on her couch holding back tears listening to her talk. I visited Brittany's tree, leaving notes and polaroids she took for her Birthday. I saw Rylee, I sent every ounce of love I had to Griffin who was recovering at his own pace in a Rehab Center. I had dreams where Brittany told me she was okay, that she was safe and happy. I had an endless feeling of needing to help more, to give more to this family who had given me so much to remember. Michele started a blog called Murch Madness, a month after the accident occurred. On this blog, she shared her emotions, situations and stories with her audience, her "village" as she likes to call it, her support group. She writes beautifully, sharing her story with others who have experienced similar situations, I read every entry and I will link it here so you can too, https://murchmadness.wordpress.com/. Please read the posts Michele has shared, for I am writing this article to point your attention to one in particular blog post.


Dear Mr. Adam Levine,

Griffin, has come extremely far in his recovery, he is walking, talking and smiling. He is snapchatting me again! He is Instagramming again, he has come back to his family as a different Griffin, but he is still Griffin. And he has always loved and adored music, so many good memories I shared with Michele and Griffin involved music. She always had her radio on, she always took Griffin, Brittany and Rylee to concerts. Griffin was musically inclined, and still is, he loves Maroon 5, and he adores Adam Levine. As Griffin has overcome so much in such a short amount of time, and his family has too, he deserves some light, some love, he deserves some hope. Michele brought Griffin to wait in line to get Maroon 5 tickets, the "old fashioned way" as she likes to call it, months before the accident occurred. Of course, they will be attending this concert still on September 17th. And Michele has reached out to try and get a meet and greet set up with Adam Levine. Griffin would be so thrilled to meet him, to share his goals with him, to tell him that he is an amazing musician. And Griffin deserves this chance, to have a wonderful experience, to share a good moment with a good person. And I want to make that happen, I want Adam Levine to see this article, I want him to see Michele's blog post. It takes a village, just like Michele said, and if this village gets even bigger, amazing things can happen. Share Michele's blog posts, boost her family's story so they can have a wonderful experience at the Maroon 5 concert!

This article is dedicated to the Murch family. I strongly suggest you read the posts on Michele's blog. Join her village, help those who have endured the worst, spread love, spread hope.


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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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