If you're anything like me, you are amped for this year's kickoff of Shark Week, AKA the best week of the entire year. The annual event takes places on the Discovery Channel and is a week-long celebration of all things shark, from research documentaries to stories from shark attack survivors. This year marks Shark Week's 30th anniversary, and shark fanatics everywhere are gearing up for what is sure to be another unforgettable week. Here are a few tell-tale signs you may be as obsessed as the rest of us.
1. Your summer doesn't REALLY begin until Shark Week starts
June is pretty much just limbo.
2. You dream of living in a world where Shark Week is every week
Maybe with a break for a Dinosaur Week or something.
3. You cancel all your plans and call out of work for the week
"Hi, yeah, sorry I can't come in today, I'm a little under the water... I mean the weather."
4. Seeing these faces feels like coming home
The holy trinity.
5. You've seen every "Air Jaws" special multiple times
And your heart still breaks for those lil' seals every time.
6. "Shark After Dark" beats every other late-night talk show
Move over, Jimmy Fallon.
7. You're completely confident in your ability to perform tonic immobility on a shark
Of COURSE I can hypnotize a shark, I've seen that guy do it, like, four times.
8. You dream of cage diving the way other people dream of visiting the Grand Canyon
We'll get there one day, my friends.
9. Last year's Michael Phelps event was one of the biggest disappointments of your life
NO, I DON'T KNOW HOW HE WOULD'VE RACED A REAL SHARK, BUT I'M STILL UPSET, OK?
10. You're TOTALLY equipped to handle a shark attack
If you don't know to go for the nose, WYD?
11. We don't speak of the Megalodon mockumentaries
The betrayal still stings.
12. You spend a lot of time thinking about how "Jaws" is the biggest load of shark propaganda ever...
... and wondering how many sharks could've been saved if that movie never came into existence and sparked the mainstream vilification of sharks. Spielberg, I just wanna talk.
13. How you look every time someone says that sharks are monsters
I mean, humans kill 100 million sharks every year, but sure, THEY'RE the monsters...
14. You have a shark Lokai bracelet
Or you're too broke but really want one.
15. You dread when it ends, but you're grateful to have it and you appreciate what it's taught you
Shark Week is all about framing sharks in a new light, one that's different from the "cold-blooded killer" narrative that we're always told. Since watching my first Shark Week, I've gained a new respect and love for these magnificent creatures. I am determined to use what I've learned to join the fight for shark conservation, and I hope you will, too.
