There's such a stigma surrounding being a virgin, especially in college. Although it's true that college is a time when sexual experimentation and liberation are at an all-time high, it's not uncommon for there to be quite a number of college students that are virgins. There are definitely more students that are virgins than people realize. Despite this, several of those students feel embarrassed or ashamed of their situation, and it's all because of the stigma that comes with it. It's a shadow that's ever present and constantly looming over them. It's inescapable and affects a variety of situations involving their college life, such as at parties or when talking to a friend or even when alone in their dorm rooms (which is shown in the cover photo). Many have experienced situations in which they felt overly sexualized because of their virginity, or the complete opposite felt that because of it they lost opportunities and were rejected. This is not gender exclusive. This applies to both males and females because these opinions are shared by both genders when it comes to virgins.

I've heard multiple conversations in which people have said that they've always wanted to take someone else's virginity. The reasoning being that anytime someone thought of their first time, they would always be associated with it, and so it would be an imprint left on that person's life that could never be taken back. It sounds kind of twisted and narcissistic, and honestly it is, but unfortunately that's really how some people think. The idea that they're taking away someone's "innocence" and being part of such a monumental stepping stone is a thrill and attracts them even more. However, when virgins (and honestly anyone should feel this way about it) feel sexualized by their virginity and the reactions it comes with, they feel uncomfortable and grossed out. A friend of mine who was self conscious about her virginity was even told by a guy friend of hers not to worry because "virgins are hot because they're super tight." The fact that someone would have the audacity to say that and seriously mean it is absurd to me. And although when she told me about it I was shocked, I shouldn't have truly been because I know there are people that think that way about virgins, and probably things that are much worse and offensive.

On the flip side, there are just as many people that use that exact same reasoning to explain why they stay away from messing around or trying to talk to virgins. They don't want to feel that kind of pressure on them and don't want the other person to have expectations because their first time was with them. For the most part, in college sex is casual and many people want a no strings attached type of situation. So when people that have that opinion encounter a virgin, they back off because of how they believe that person will react after sex, if it were to reach that point. They don't want to have more expected from them then what they're willing to give, which is just sex. Even though there may be cases in which that wouldn't be how the other person would feel, think, or react, many are still unwilling to give it a chance. It's unfair to the people being rejected because of their virginity, but if that's how it is, then they're better off not getting into a situation like that anyway.

Another reason that virgins are rejected is because some people don't want to deal with the awkwardness or inexperience of someone else's first time. They remember their own first time and their inexperience and prefer to not go through that again. The worst part about this is that so many virgins are afraid of how their first time is going to be. They're afraid they may not be good their first time and won't be able to live up to the other person's expectations of sex. It's terrible that one of the biggest fears that virgins have is thrown right back in their face by people who are inconsiderate of their situation and fears. They are especially not worth the sadness over the rejection.

Then there are people who are virgins and want to stay that way for personal reasons. Other people that are aware of this may stick around after finding out someone is a virgin in hopes that somehow, in some way, they'll be able to change that person's mind and convince them to have sex. These people are probably the worst, because not only do they mislead you into a false sense of security and acceptance, but then it also becomes clear that they don't respect you, because if they did they wouldn't try to change something you feel strongly about. Most of the time they end up leaving and giving up anyway because there is no shift in the other person's stance on having sex. Another friend of mine was in a situation such as this and in the end was left feeling like they couldn't hold the other person's interest because of lack of wanting things to escalate sexually. It's unfortunate that there are people that refuse to accept or respect the way other people feel. Virgins in this situation deserve so much respect for sticking to their guns and not allowing anything to weaken their resolve because they're the ones that are most pressured into having sex.

Due to situations in which virgins have experienced both sexualization and revulsion because of their virginity, it makes many people feel bad about themselves and makes them hesitant and afraid to admit to others that they are. However, thankfully that doesn't stop them from dealing with these awful situations (which they shouldn't even have to deal with) with class and patience as they continue to look forward to the future in the hopes that one day they'll find someone that fits their needs perfectly and doesn't sexualize or reject them because of their virginity.

As a friend of mine told me recently, "I'd rather deal with all that than prove my worth through having sex." And that's the kind of mentality that needs to be maintained and reinforced, because everyone deserves more than that, even if they've been made to believe they don't.