Would you believe me if I told you that every 98 seconds an American is sexually assaulted? If it were not for the National Sexual Assault Hotline (800.656.HOPE), I may not believe it either! According to national polls and 911 Rape logs, on average, there are 321,500 victims (age 12 or older) of rape and sexual assault each year in the United States. In 2012 over 63,000 cases of sexual abuse involving children were reported.
Based on emergency case studies and law enforcement records, ages 12-34 are at the highest risk for rape and sexual assault.
Now these statistics are just in general, however, on campuses, rape is now considered an epidemic as more than 18% of students polled at an unnamed university in NY have reported incidents of rape or attempted rape during their first year at the school. Many researchers have also looked at the past experiences of polled students and found that almost 40% of the women said that they had experienced at least one rape or attempted rape between age 14 and their second year of college.
Women and children are not the only ones who are sexually abused. About 3% of American men—1 in 33—have experienced an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime. 1 out of every 10 rape victims are male. Research conducted by the CDC estimates that 1 in 6 boys and 1 in 4 girls are sexually abused before the age of 18.
Whether you know it or not, you have probably encountered at least 1 person in your life time who has been affected by rape in some way. The main reasons people do not report sexual crimes are because they feel like they are at fault, they worry no one will believe them, and they are scared of what will happen if they tell on their abuser.
Here are a few stories and tips to try and prevent sexual abuse from occurring in you or your children's lives.
-One anonymous source states that she was the victim of sexual abuse by her custodial step grandparent from the time she was 4 until she was removed from the home by the police at age 12. Her grandmother stated she never imagined anything was going on. Her sunday school teacher is the one who she spoke out to and who reported the sexual abuse. 13 years later, the pain and anger of the abuse still lingers and weighs heavily on this sweet girl's life every day.
- "I was in a relationship with this guy for about a year before things changed. Toward the beginning of the relationship, he drugged me and I later woke to him on top of me but I didn't know for sure what happened until a long time after. The first time I had fallen asleep on the couch and woke up to him trying to take my pants off. I told him no but he kept going. I even screamed (we lived with his parents) and he covered my mouth. I'm pretty sure they heard too but didn't care enough to do anything about. He was a lot stronger than me so there was not much else to do but scream. Afterwards he convinced me that it was my fault that I had teased him and that I had wanted it, when I definitely did not. This happened almost every day for the next year or so. I screamed at first but I quickly realized his parents weren't going to help so after that I just let him do what he wanted. I never left him because like I said he had me believing it was my fault. I finally got the courage to leave that toxicity and have been a million times happier since.
-A sweet friend of mine was also a victim of date rape, she gave me a brief summary of her experience. "When I was in high school I was at a party with my friend; my boyfriend was supposed to be coming over but for some reason he didn't, the party was at his friends house. Basically my friend and I were date raped by my boyfriends friends... all I was doing was drinking a couple drinks but I made the mistake of letting them make them for me. Thankfully I was blacked out with mine, but felt disgusting the next day when I was having random flash backs. I tried to tell my boyfriend at the time about it a few days later and he acted mad like it was all my fault and didn't believe me, or care? Where we went to school when things like that happened we don't talk about it or "you asked for it" kind of thing."
-Another victim spoke out and stated that she went to trial against her abuser and her sexual past was drug out to paint her as the guilty party. Her argument in addition to the evidence and witnesses, was that a hooker can screw a hundred men, but if she says no to one and he forces himself on her it's still rape. He was indicted on 2 counts of rape and 2 years later he accepted a deal with the D.A. If the legal process had not taken 2 years, this victim would have continued on to trial, but after 300 times of retelling the sequence of events, she was ready for it to be over and move on.
-One victim I spoke with never reported the acquaintance rape that she experienced. She told a boyfriend the next day but he blamed her and accused her of cheating on him. "I continued to beg him to leave me alone. I stared at the popcorn ceiling and cried silently. Finally, I told him I had important medication in my backpack on the floor. I needed it now, I said. He didn't respond, and continued to have sex with me. I told him I was about to be sick, and he reluctantly rolled off of me, called me a "bitch" and went downstairs.I felt like I had been "taken advantage of" but didn't think I could call it rape. I felt like that term was reserved for women who were violently attacked by a stranger in the park. Not a drunk high school jock who didn't seem to take no for an answer. I believe it's incredibly important to teach consent in our sex Ed programs. If it has been, maybe what happened to me would have never happened..I never reported because after confiding in the one I thought who could help me I realized I was on my own and no one would believe me or take my side...I hate that he made me have this secret burden, and society feeds into that as well."
-"When i was younger I didn't have a father around, my mom was a single mother. As a teen, I was looking for love and acceptance in all the wrong places. I met a guy who said all the right things so I ended up sleeping with him and after that he thought i was free game. He thought he could have me anytime. He was not around long, but boy did those days feel like a lifetime. I was terrified of being alone with him. He was staying at our house for a short time. One time he cornered me after school when no one was home. I was in the bathroom and he sexually assaulted me. It made me feel so powerless, cheap, and disgusting! I felt it was my fault, like I let this happen and actually made it okay by having sex with him prior! I felt so much shame and guilt. This incident has haunted me all the way to adulthood. I didn't feel valued or cared about for a long time, i felt like all men where probably just like him! I was completely robbed of my teenage years! It has made me very aware of my daughters and who I allow them to be around! Now as an adult I have found my worth and value in God! I know that what he did was not my fault, and that i am valuable, capable of being loved, and powerful with my voice and how I share my story. I will be praying over this article and all those it reaches!! Prayers for love, value, meaning and power to come to those victims! Thank you for the opportunity to be a voice 
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-A parent of a victim has shared her story with me in hopes to help another parent out there. Her child was a victim of child on child sexual abuse. She never had any idea why her child was so unhappy and uncomfortable around people and thought maybe the child was just going through a stage. Eventually a sibling discovered the child's journal which was full of self hating statements, depressing and morbid drawings of the child self mutilating or killing them-self, and the other child's name written over and over again with a red marker crossed through it. They spoke to their child and cried for the child to open up and finally the truth came out. She said if she had just been more proactive and talked to her kids about sexual abuse and things that could happen when they started school or first started recognizing their privates that maybe things could have been prevented. This woman states that they were so worried about "stranger danger," or teachers and adults that they never even mentioned other children sexually abusing them and what to do.
There is no fool proof solution for prevention, there is no guaranteed method to prevent some one from being raped but there is education. Tell your children signs and things that should not be happening, tell them what to do if something like that does happen. Let them know that no matter what a person tells them, no matter who it is, they are not the bad one. PARENTS!!! If you are unsure how to address these topics with your kids, check out this list I have put together: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1F-NQQbWnDJmg6i...
For more information on reporting, what to do if you are experiencing sexual abuse or suspect sexual abuse, and more, see the links below!
https://www.rainn.org/safety-parents
https://apps.rainn.org/policy/policy-state-laws.cf...
https://www.rainn.org/reporting-and-criminal-justi...
https://www.rainn.org/recovering-sexual-violence
https://www.rainn.org/articles/talking-your-kids-a...
