In the wake of Donald Trump’s inauguration as president of the United States, and the worldwide women’s marches that have followed, there has been an onslaught of anti-feminist rhetoric online. Even my fellow Odyssey writers have churned out articles in which they triumphantly reject feminism. However, while the rejection of a misunderstood social movement is a problematic issue for another day, I have noticed one glaring similarity shared among these articles and decrees crying out against feminism, especially ones that criticize the women’s marches.
All of these articles label the women involved in marches as frenzied misandrists, as feminazis who rebel against men because they have been denied of their love. In this light, feminism is depicted as purely concerning the rights of white, heterosexual women. Despite this widely held misconception, feminism applies to the rights of people of color, members of the LBTQ+ community, and anyone who is oppressed by sexism. What people fail to realize is that everyone is affected by sexism, even men. In fact, I will argue that men are affected by sexism more than our society currently recognizes.
People criticize the feminist movement because it attempts to tear down the alleged biological differences between men and women, the inherent disparities that deny men and women from being equal. Why do we assume that these differences are products of biology, instead of acknowledging them for what they are, which is constructed?
The perceived differences between men and women are synthetic. While our culture demeans our women as ultimately worthless and overly emotional, we theorize that men are cold, aloof, and beyond the simple, unworthy issues of the feminine.
We teach our boys that if they express emotion, they are weak.
We teach boys that if they experience hurt or pain, they cannot vocalize it, because men are above pain.
We teach boys to humiliate and shame others who aren’t masculine, and to not associate with other boys who are too ‘girly.’
We teach boys that the worse thing to do is cry, because that means they have lost control.
We teach boys that they cannot have meaningful relationships with other boys, because that makes them ‘gay.’
We teach boys to refuse all things even remotely feminine, because the worst thing one can do in our society is be a woman.
Then these boys become men. We have trained our men to be aggressive, to dominate, to overpower, to manipulate, to take advantage, to shame, and to control.
But somehow, we are surprised.
We are surprised that when all of the emotion trapped inside becomes too much, that when the rage boils over until it cannot be contained in the masculine mold that we have bullied them into, that the men snap.
We are surprised that 90% of murders are committed by men, and that 98% of the perpetrators that commit mass murder are male. In our pain, we are quick to assume the stereotypes that men are somehow more evil, more aggressive, instead of addressing that we have failed to give boys and men healthy outlets for emotions they apparently aren’t even supposed to have.
We are surprised that 99% of sex offenders in single-victim incidents are male, even though we have taught men that women are not people, but objects. When we teach men that the worst thing to be is a woman, how can we expect men to respect women? We have taught men that women are not people, but vehicles of sexual gratification that are subject to masculine domination. Instead of acknowledging the issue that we have created, we assume that men are are just exercising their uncontrollable sexual and violent urges.
We are surprised that men are increasingly entitled, though we have trained them that they are to control everything.
So, men, I feel sorry for you. While there are several drawbacks to being a woman in a patriarchal society, I have seldom been dismissed for expressing my emotions. We have suffocated your humanity. We have dehumanized you into animals driven by your base needs. We have attacked every aspect of your person-hood until you have been reduced into something that resembles an unfeeling, hollow version of human being.
Men, who would you be if you were allowed to care, to create, to feel, and to love? Who would you be without society, a media, a life constantly threatening you into a twisted version of masculinity?
Who would we be, who could we be, if society did not tell us who we are based on our gender?