The first presidential debate of the 2016 election has attracted a great deal of attention as the general public finally had the chance to see Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton meet for a face-to-face debate. While Donald Trump has been called out for many outright sexist remarks (including his verbal abuse of Alicia Machado), there are many other remarks and mannerisms that go unnoticed for the most part because they are exceedingly common in our society.

At about 13:16 into coverage of the presidential debate, Trump breaks from his point about the faults of politicians to address Clinton directly: “Now, in all fairness to Secretary Clinton" — here he gestures to his opponent and directs his comments to her — “Yes? Is that okay? Good. I want you to be very happy. That’s very important to me.” While asking someone’s preferred title is generally a good idea, the way Mr. Trump executes his question is patronizing and, sadly, an experience women of all ages and positions in society are all to familiar with.

The fact that Trump stumbled so much in his phrasing of the question was unprofessional. He could have simply called her Secretary Clinton, without asking permission or commenting on her happiness, and that would have been polite, respectful, and not at all out of place. However, he asked not once, but twice (“Yes? Is that okay?”), and then insinuated that he was only asking because he wanted her to be “very happy,” and not because he actually respects her. Men like Donald Trump use tactics like this to make themselves appear chivalrous at first glance — in theory, he did everything right — he asked permission and kept her happiness in mind. However, this “chivalry” is actually being used to make women’s accomplishments appear trivial. Trump treats the use of her title of Secretary as a means of granting her happiness, as though Clinton wanted a Gold Star for her lifelong accomplishments to make herself feel good. His patronizing treatment of her title undermines the accomplishments of Hillary Clinton as well as women everywhere.

The second part that makes Trump’s comment sexist is his mention of his opponent’s happiness. While wishing happiness onto others is generally a good quality in a person, the context in which Trump phrases this shows that his wishes were not well-intentioned. Not only is keeping one’s opponent happy irrelevant in a political debate, being happy and smiling are things women in particular are very frequently told to do. Throughout Hillary Clinton’s campaign, she has been told she does not smile enough. Meanwhile her opponents smiled far less frequently than she, and they did not once get called out for it.

The unreasonable expectations put on Clinton reflect the outdated cliché of “happy wife, happy life.” This saying implies that women are complacent as long as their basic needs are satisfied, and that women are ruled by their emotions to a much greater extent than men. This stereotype insinuates that women are too emotional to assume roles like the President of the United States, which Donald Trump came dangerously close to saying when he stated later on in the debate that Hillary “does not have the stamina” to be president. By stating that he wanted Clinton to “be very happy,” Trump is suggesting that by appeasing her, he expects her to remain complacent enough for him to continue interrupting her repeatedly throughout the debate.

Interactions such as this, where a man feigns chivalry for his own benefit rather than out of genuine respect for women, is so engrained in the workings of our society that it has become taken for granted. Fortunately, we live in a time where we can come together as a society to recognize and address these inequalities.