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Student Life

8 Steps To Having The Sexiest Valentine's Day Ever

Wow, is it getting hot in here?

Julia Bosco

Feb 12, 2018

University of Kansas

687

8 Steps To Having The Sexiest Valentine's Day Ever

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1. Take it off!

Nothing is more arousing than a nice, wet, makeup wipe. Then lube up your face with Clearasil Rapid Action cream. Ugh, feeling sexier already.

2. Slip into something...a little more comfortable

Nothing is more satisfying than getting naked, peeling off skinny jeans, and getting into a hot pair of sweatpants that you probably got from a Batmitzvah when you were thirteen. You’ll feel so raunchy and revealing once you put on that ratty T-shirt with all the holes in it.

3. Get naughty

Time to get a little naughty with some Netflix. And when I say naughty, I mean binge watch two seasons of The Office in one night.

4. Set the mood

Set the mood with some wine. Since you’re single and home alone anyway, skip the glass and just drink straight from the bottle. Nothing says seductive like drinking alone.

5. Hot and steamy

Now that you’re feeling a little tipsy, it’s time to get down and dirty. Pick up the phone and order a hot, steamy, gooey, extra large pizza from Dominos. Wow, is it hot in here?

6. Make it romantic

What would Valentine’s day be without some romance? Get intimate and buy yourself a box of chocolates. You’ve got all night, honey. Eat the whole damn thing.

7. Get a little messy

Time to put your hair up and get down to some sloppy business. I’m talking face masks and ice cream. Oh my god, you’ll look so hot with that Ben and Jerry’s pint in your hands.

8. Feel satisfied

Everyone knows the magic happens in the bedroom. It’s 9:30pm so dim the lights for some ambience and get ready for the best sleep of your life. It may even last eight hours if you're lucky. You will never be more satisfied.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Student Life

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The ultimate list and gif guide to a college student's brain during finals.

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Thanksgiving break is over and Christmas is just around the corner and that means, for most college students, one hellish thing — finals week. It's the one time of year in which the library becomes over populated and mental breakdowns are most frequent. There is no way to avoid it or a cure for the pain that it brings. All we can do is hunker down with our books, order some Dominos, and pray that it will all be over soon. Luckily, we are not alone in this suffering. To prove it, here are just a few of the many deranged thoughts that go through a college student's mind during finals week.

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I know every college student has daily thoughts throughout their day. Whether you're walking on campus or attending class, we always have thoughts running a mile a minute through our heads. We may be wondering why we even showed up to class because we'd rather be sleeping, or when the professor announces that we have a test and you have an immediate panic attack.