8 Steps To Having The Sexiest Valentine's Day Ever | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Student Life

8 Steps To Having The Sexiest Valentine's Day Ever

Wow, is it getting hot in here?

687
8 Steps To Having The Sexiest Valentine's Day Ever
Pexels

1. Take it off!

Nothing is more arousing than a nice, wet, makeup wipe. Then lube up your face with Clearasil Rapid Action cream. Ugh, feeling sexier already.

2. Slip into something...a little more comfortable

Nothing is more satisfying than getting naked, peeling off skinny jeans, and getting into a hot pair of sweatpants that you probably got from a Batmitzvah when you were thirteen. You’ll feel so raunchy and revealing once you put on that ratty T-shirt with all the holes in it.


3. Get naughty

Time to get a little naughty with some Netflix. And when I say naughty, I mean binge watch two seasons of The Office in one night.

4. Set the mood

Set the mood with some wine. Since you’re single and home alone anyway, skip the glass and just drink straight from the bottle. Nothing says seductive like drinking alone.


5. Hot and steamy

Now that you’re feeling a little tipsy, it’s time to get down and dirty. Pick up the phone and order a hot, steamy, gooey, extra large pizza from Dominos. Wow, is it hot in here?

6. Make it romantic

What would Valentine’s day be without some romance? Get intimate and buy yourself a box of chocolates. You’ve got all night, honey. Eat the whole damn thing.


7. Get a little messy

Time to put your hair up and get down to some sloppy business. I’m talking face masks and ice cream. Oh my god, you’ll look so hot with that Ben and Jerry’s pint in your hands.

8. Feel satisfied

Everyone knows the magic happens in the bedroom. It’s 9:30pm so dim the lights for some ambience and get ready for the best sleep of your life. It may even last eight hours if you're lucky. You will never be more satisfied.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
girl
Pexels

In case you're unaware, "resting bitch face" is the term used to describe when a person's natural, expressionless face makes it look like they are mad at the world. Whether they are walking down the street or simply spacing out thinking about what to eat for dinner, it's very easy for others to assume that this person is either upset or mad at them. Because of this, those of us with Resting Bitch Face (RBF), and especially us women, have all experienced many of the same situations and conversations, including:

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

The Stages Of A Crush As Told By The Cast of "Bob's Burgers"

We all go through certain stages when we have a crush, Tina just explains it better.

574
my heart just pooped its pants
Google

We've all had a crush before. Whether it leads to something or nothing, the process has all been the same. The awkward feelings, the stalking, and the stress of trying to keep this huge secret. The feeling of becoming a total spazz is something that cannot be avoided, and the most spazzy family that can relate to this feeling is the Belcher's.

Keep Reading...Show less
you didnt come this far to only come this far lighted text
Photo by Drew Beamer on Unsplash

At the tender age of 18, we are bestowed with the title of “adult.” For 17 years, we live under the rules and guidelines of our parents, school, and government, and to stray from any of those rules or guidelines marks us as a rebel. At 18, though, we must choose which college we want to go to or what career we want. We are allowed and encouraged to vote. We can buy lottery tickets and cigarettes. We can drop out of school, leave our household, and do other "adult" things. At 18, we start down a path of thinking for ourselves, when for the entirety of our lives other institutions have been mandated to think and do for us.

Keep Reading...Show less
university
University of Nebraska at Omaha

Creating your schedule for the upcoming semester can be an exciting process. You have the control to decide if you want to have class two-days a week or five-days a week. You get to check things off of your requirement checklist. It's an opportunity for a fresh start with new classes (which you tell yourself you'll never skip.) This process, which always starts out so optimistic, can get frustrating really quickly. Here are 25 thoughts you have when registering for classes.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

10 Thoughts Of A 5th Year Senior

What about those of us who don't do it all in four years?

1664
college shirt
pointsincase.com

"College will be the best four years of your life" is a phrase that we have all heard growing up. College is painted as a magical place to us while we are in high school. A place you go to learn, meet your best friends and probably have the time of your life while all of this is going down. Four whirlwind years, where everything that you've known changes and you start to learn what it means to live on your own, have a job, etc. But what about those of us who don't do this all in four years? Major changes, hard courses, switching schools, career paths changing, these are just a handful of factors that could extend your four years to five, six or seven. There is nothing wrong with taking extra time to graduate, but returning as a fifth-year is a little different. Most of your best friends have most likely graduated and moved and while you may be one of the oldest undergraduates on campus, you might feel as awkward as a freshmen. A world that became home and comfortable to you is still there but it's slightly different than you've known it to be and you have to find a groove to fall into. These are thoughts you'll have as you look ahead to returning to your college campus, with a victory lap planned.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments