Sex education in America is, quite frankly, a mess. There are two main forms of sexual education: abstinence-only (the most common), and a comprehensive approach. In fact, currently only 24 states mandate sex education in schools while only 13 require that it be medically accurate information. Even more shocking, only two states prohibit the program from promoting any type of religion.

Think back to your health classes in grade school- do you remember being taught about sex? I vividly remember being in 5th grade and getting “the talk” and watching “the video.” Everyone talked about it in elementary school- it was the visit from a local nurse to inform us about puberty and how our bodies and minds will change. They separated the boys and the girls into separate rooms, while each watched an “informational” video and listened to the nurses speak.

I remember feeling inadequate afterwards because I didn’t know or understand anything she talked about. Afterwards, all of my friends were giggling and whispering with the boys about condoms, yet I just had to play along because I didn’t want to seem stupid. The school had just paid for this nurse to come speak to our class, but she left me feeling more confused than when I had first entered the classroom (and with a bag of pads, tampons, and stickers). The ONLY thing she taught us was how to insert a tampon, zero mention of anything else. How was I supposed to know what a condom was?

This unfortunate trend continued into my middle and high school health classes. If anything, it simply got worse. Middle school is a critical time in young people’s lives! Their bodies are changing, emotions are running high, and puberty is on full-force. Yet, even though all of these things are affecting the students, the sex topic was never breached. It was avoided, instead we were taught all about the negative effects of “alcohol and other drugs.” The chapter in our textbooks that covered the anatomy of the body was strictly taught gender-based.

Classes were, once again, split into boys and girls and each were taught only their corresponding anatomy. In high school, classes were finally combined and co-ed. This doesn’t mean that the education was improved at all, though. During our quick lesson on anatomy, my male health teacher couldn’t even bring himself to say the word “vagina.” He completely skipped over the word, and then, most of the female anatomy section.

If this experience sounds similar to your own, you are the majority and are not alone. Everything that I know about sex I have learned on my own- and that is the problem. An educational program that is based on religious views and that promotes rape culture is the WRONG way to educate young people. The scare tactics that have been widely used are unacceptable. Our current government administration has made a $200 million dollar cut to teen pregnancy prevention programs, including sex ed. If schools continue to teach the traditional way, abstinence-only, teen pregnancies will only increase, as will sexual crimes and slut shaming. These things are all statistically proven as results of abstinence-only education.

I am glad I know what I do now, because I know that one day, I will be able to properly educate my children even if their teachers can not.