So no one told you life was gonna be this way but thank god we have our friends to support us while we are going through the dark times of our lives. Friendships are important, so we need to value it and take it seriously. Here are a few tips I summarized from my own experiences on how to maintain a strong friendship.
It is kind of like dating. You need to find out their best qualities and love their uniqueness.
When you are dating someone, you must like them for a reason. Maybe you like how your girlfriend is always very energetic, so whenever you see her, your day just becomes sunnier and happier. Or maybe you like your boyfriend because he is very passionate about things in life, so you get inspired whenever he takes you to an adventurous date. You spend time with the person you like and you get to know them better over time. When it comes to friendships, it is the same! You must like your best friend because she or he has the greatest quality in this world and you just love it! And when you guys are spending time together, these qualities influence you by improving your character and developing your humanity.
Always always be there for them when they need you.
I probably don't need to explain this. We are all independent humans and we can take care of ourselves, but sometimes life doesn't go so well and we just need our best friends to be there for us and help us to get better. To some extent, best friends are like our family members because they make us feel safe. When we build bonds with our friends, we become closer to them and let them become a part of our lives. Friends help us to learn, to grow, to experience things, and best friends help us to belong, to heal, to move on. We need to be there for our friends, so they can be there for us too.
It's always because we have similar experiences, so we can understand each other.
Everybody has a different life story, but we can always find commonalities and share our stories with each other. It could be through similar interests like gaming or anime watching or sharing the same goal. In any way, you must understand your best friends, and it is even more important that you guys can have the same belief. That's what makes your best friend so special to you because he or she is the only person that can understand you.
Encourage each other. Let me be your mirror.
Brittany Packnett shared her belief of being confident in her TED talk "How to build your confidence — and sparks it in others." She talked about the importance of other people's influences on us and our understanding of confidence. Below is a paragraph from her TED talk transcript.
"I traveled to Kenya this year to learn about women's empowerment among Maasai women. There I met a group of young women called Team Lioness, among Kenya's first all-female community ranger groups. These eight brave young women were making history in just their teenage years, and I asked Purity, the most verbose young ranger among them, "Do you ever get scared?" I swear to you, I want to tattoo her response all over my entire body. She said, "Of course I do, but I call on my sisters. They remind me that we will be better than these men and that we will not fail." Purity's confidence to chase down lions and catch poachers, it didn't come from her athletic ability or even just her faith. Her confidence was propped up by sisterhood, by community. What she was basically saying was that if I am ever in doubt, I need you to be there to restore my hope and to rebuild my certainty."
The thing that intrigued me the most in her talk is her definition of sisterhood. This word could be very confusing to me if I never had real "sisters" because I would never know how much I can change my life by having good, inspiring, and supporting friends. Packnett is absolutely right. A lot of times we don't see the potentials in us because we are constantly comparing ourselves with others. Like how you see beautiful girls compare themselves with models. All we need is our sisters or our best friends to remind us what we can't see in ourselves. You are a source of your friends' confidence. It is not because of how outstanding you are; it is because you can be the mirror for your friends and let them see their awesomeness.
Friends encourage each other by pointing out their inspiring aspects. For example, I tell my best friends they are beautiful. I am not lying. I am just being the mirror for them.
Help each other with action because actions tell you everything.
Being there for your friends is important, and I don't say that lightly. I call my best friend whenever I need her and I don't mind if she never reaches out to me. Don't think too much and don't wait until they reach out to you. Once one of my best friends called me when she felt depressed, so I stayed on the line with her for a few hours despite my busy schedule because I knew she needed me. I know if I need her she will do the same for me. I love my friends. And I call my friends to tell them I love them.
Laugh together, cry together, and it is definitely worth the time to be together.
I know how hard it is to meet our friends during the pandemic, so if you get the chance to hang out with them, don't waste it. Most of the time people stop hanging out with their friends when they are getting into a relationship or when they are getting heavier workloads. You may think there are more valuable things to do besides hanging out with your friends. But it is also important to spend quality time with your good friends and strengthen your connections. Friendship is not about "worth it" or "not worth it". Friendship is a necessity. You may not realize it, but you need friends in your life, so spend time with your friends! Laugh together! Cry together!
