Now that I've been at school for a little over a month, I've found myself wondering the same things each and every day, and I'm sure all the other first-year student men out there are, too. I can't speak for all the females out there, but from a guy's perspective, here's what's running through our minds while we're pretending to pay attention during class.
1. Are all of my classes really this boring?
Most likely, your school will have you enrolled in a bunch of general education classes that you’re required to take before you take classes pertaining to your major. Often, you’re not as interested in these subjects, and it becomes nearly impossible to pay attention in class. I love anthropology as much as the next guy, but there’s just something about being forced to watch a video of naked men wearing loincloths that rubs me the wrong way.
Photo via Sunrise Sound
2. Where did all of my friends go?
Everybody was so nice and friendly during welcome week and the first week of class. What happened? I thought I was actually popular for once. Did I say something offensive? Do I smell bad? The truth is that everybody just gets slammed with a ton of homework and doesn’t have as much time to be social.
3. How does one "do laundry"?
We haven’t touched a washer or a dryer in 18 or 19 years. What makes people think we’re suddenly experts at doing laundry? And we have to pay $3.00 a load? We can't even figure out which temperature to use for whites and darks. Mom, please help.
Photo via Daily Mail
4. Do all of my teachers hate me?
Since nobody does any homework their senior year of high school, we don’t even remember the last time we opened a textbook. The only thing we’ve put in our backpacks the past year are snacks, a phone charger and the occasional sweatshirt that doubled as a pillow if classes ever became too boring. On top of all that we’re already expected to do, we can’t get away with not doing assigned readings anymore, and apparently somebody decided that SparkNotes isn’t allowed? It’s going to be a long first semester.
5. For the love of God, where is the food?
Dealing with the stress of laundry, academics and social pressure every day causes us men to become significantly hungrier than we were before. We could go to breakfast, but that would require way too much effort, and going off campus to eat isn’t an option because, well, we’re all broke. Not to mention most dining hall food is borderline inedible no matter where you go to school. Once again, mom, please help.
Photo via Shemazing
6. Do I actually have to dress well?
In high school, everybody is so judgmental, so there’s an incentive to look semi-presentable every day. But in college, nobody is supposed to care what you look like, right? Then why do we see guys walking around every day decked out in the latest Vineyard Vines and Sperry’s? All we really want to do is go to class on a Razor scooter while wearing a Snuggie. Why does that have to be so hard?
7. Why are frat guys so mean?
We all came to college thinking that frat parties would be a great time, and I’m sure they are. However, every time we get near the motherland of college partying that is a fraternity house, we’re rudely asked, “Who do you know here?” To make things worse, we get turned away at the door while freshman girls flock inside by the dozen. We don’t even want your alcohol or your women. We just heard about this party on Yik-Yak and want to get away from our weird roommate for a few hours and maybe make a Snapchat story that will make people think we’re cool. Instead, we don’t get to party, and all the girls our age are inside your house? Why must life be so unfair?
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