1. We trust almost no one.
You know when you were little and your dad said to trust no one? Well this phrase stuck for a lifetime. Yes, that was pertaining to strangers on the streets, but it also relates to the people you meet everyday on campus, in Starbucks, or at the gym. This may seem negative and pessimistic, but I rather be safe than sorry. Until I really get to know someone, I do not trust them or their intentions. You hear stories all the time that start and end with “I trusted you." In this case trust is spoken in past tense because it is very common to choose to trust someone, and then they still go and hurt you or your loved ones. It unfortunately happens all the time. People break each others trust more than they should, and for this reason we choose to initially trust no one. If you want our trust, you have to earn it.
2. We won't be best friends right away.
As you scroll through your newsfeed you see – mostly girls – post pictures captioned “My Bestie" or “Best friends forever" after just knowing a person for a week or even days. Now personally I feel that is ridiculous. What do you know about a person after a few days of hanging out? These friendships that start so great and so quickly usually end shortly. Don't get me wrong, some people meet someone and automatically become best friends and it works out. But for someone like me, this never happens. I can meet someone and know we will one day be best friends, but it still takes about a year to get close and completely trust them. If we consider someone our best friend, we have been close with him or her for at least a year and could trust him or her with our lives. We take the term 'best friend' very seriously and expect the people in our lives to do the same. If you meet me one day, and tell me you want me to be in your bridal party the next day, you will get a crazy look, I promise.
3. We don't share every detail about our lives.
Everyone has secrets and personal or family issues. Some people air their dirty laundry for everyone to see, but others keep their lives to themselves. My thought process is as follows: everyone has their own problems, so why should I burden them with my own. They don't need the extra issues to worry about or carry on their shoulders. Even if you are our best friend, you probably don't know every detail or problem in our lives. On the other hand, if we share something personal with you, know it is rare and means we trust you.
4. We are not touchy-feely humans.
If we don't get close to people quickly, this also means we probably don't want to hug you every five seconds. There are always those people that pat your back, rub your arm, hold hands, or give constant hugs. While there is nothing wrong with that, for a person who doesn't get close to people quickly, we feel these motions are unnecessary and uncomfortable. You will not catch us being affectionate with anyone. And when we see people being touchy-feely, we can only try hold back our gags. Being close comes with time, but the lovey-dovey hugs may never come, and if they do it is rare. I promise, we can be best friends without being touchy-feely.
5. We prefer quality to quantity.
Why have 20 good friends when you can have 5 best friends? Some people constantly need to be a part of a large group of friends, but we prefer a smaller group of close friends. A large group means inevitable and unnecessary drama and probably a future split. Surrounding yourself with a smaller group of friends that you can trust to be loyal and there for you always is much more fulfilling.
6. We are the farthest thing from fake, and stay clear of phonies.
Fake people are the worst. Fake smiles, fake laughs, fake friends. You can't trust fake people with anything more than the latest gossip around campus. We are the opposite of this. We are real and will not lie to you. If you want an honest opinion, we are the person you come to. If you need clear, unbiased advice, come on by. But if you are going to pretend to be someone you're not, stay away and take your fakeness with you. We don't want you to waste our time, and we most certainly won't waste yours.
7. We are worth the wait.
Whether you just met and want to be best friends or even lovers, this person will not give in. It will take time for them to form a relationship with you, but it is definitely worth the wait. If you wonder why we people are hesitant to become close and assume that they are mean or distant, consider the fact that they are afraid to put themselves out there because they don't want to be put in a vulnerable situation. If you wait for us to come around to being close friends, you will gain a friend that you can trust with your secrets, your quirks, and your life.
