I didn't grow up in a particularly religious family.
I think my parents had a belief system of some sort, but I was never raised on one. We didn't go to church on Sundays, attend holiday services, nor did we ever say grace prior to eating a meal. I never thought much of this, and, in a way, I am thankful to my mom, being the single mother that she has always been, for letting me form my own beliefs.
When I was younger, I visited my grandparents in Colorado Springs and attended church with them. All I recall from that experience was the music and how excited everyone was to worship with these songs. They were modern songs, not songs a kid who had never attended church before would have thought Christian music would sound like. This is the very last vivid experience I have from a church service, or any religion experience of any kind.
In high school, as social media became more prevalent in my group of friends and for everybody else, bible verses were in everyone's bios on Instagram and Twitter. People were getting tiny crosses tattooed on their wrists and bible verses tattooed on their shoulders. Still, I never really got it. I had close friends who repeatedly said things to me about how the Lord is their savior, and how they are graced by God. I never understood any of this. I never thought negatively of anyone who believed so heavily in God, I just never participated or understood it.
In college is when I really started to wonder what I believed in. Prior to starting school at Indiana University, even with all my friends being so religious, I never really questioned that fact that I didn't have a belief system of my own. There is this church on campus that they tell you in campus tours you can go to no matter what you believe in. I remember my tour guide my senior year of high school said, "even if you believe in a flying spaghetti monster." I began to question things, read things, but I never followed through with what I thought would be a time when I could peacefully figure out what I believed in.
Now I'm a sophomore, almost halfway done with my studies, and I went to church for the first time in Bloomington. I did what everyone says you should do on the internet and 'researched' churches beforehand, but I picked the one that specifically said it was suited for students in Bloomington without a church home. I didn't have a church home, even in my own town, so this was as close as it gets.
I can't say that my first church experience was one that has all of a sudden made me realize I believe in God and what the bible teaches, but I can say it's a step forward. I am nowhere near understanding even the basics of the Christian religion, but I'm moving closer.
And if I decide that it makes sense as a part of my life, then so be it.
