Most people will agree: coming home from college over the summer can be a drag. The reason? The sudden shift from (seemingly) total independence to parental observation and interference.
It's hard to enjoy your vacation when it feels like your parents are breathing down your neck 24/7. At school midnight ice cream runs and spontaneous plans to go out on a Thursday were the norm. At home, even leaving for work can have your mom running out the door yelling, "Wait, where are you going?!"
If you're staying at home, it's totally reasonable for your parents to want to know things like if you'll be home for dinner, or how long you expect to be out. That's practical, especially if you are using a shared car or if there are family plans scheduled. Your parents don't want to wake up at 3 AM because they think they hear someone breaking in, only to realize it's just you at the front door because you weren't spending the night out like they assumed.
While parents definitely have the right to know some things, they definitely don't get an all-access pass to your private life just because you're home for three months. Things like who you'll be with, what you'll be doing, and where you'll be don't need to be disclosed every time you step foot out the door.
Asking when you think you'll be home is one thing. A verbal rampage of "Is it a date? Will there be alcohol? Send me the address. Who will be there? Boys? Are you having sex? Don't be having sex. And be home by midnight!" is another thing completely.
If you feel like your parents are starting to invade your privacy, the last thing you want to do is snap at them. Yelling and storming out of your house is only going to make you look immature and invalidate your responsibility.
The best thing to do is to sit down with your parents at a time when you aren't trying to leave and they aren't firing questions at you. Set up clear boundaries about your privacy and what you feel is appropriate for them to ask about or know. It's important that you explain yourself calmly and rationally.
Be realistic and don't expect them to stay out of your business 100% and in every scenario. Just be clear and tell them that you feel like you're responsible enough to take care of yourself and make good decisions and that you've been able to manage yourself at school so home should be no different.
If you explain to your parents that it is about freedom and maturity, not about keeping secrets or hiding things from them, they are going to be a whole lot more responsive. Whereas if you start off with "What I do with my life is none of your business," you come off as not only disrespectful but also suspicious. What are you so adamant about hiding?
Do you want to be treated like an adult? Then act like one. Don't disappear for days without telling them you'll be away. Don't come home in the early hours of the morning, night after night, stumbling into your kitchen and drunk as hell. Be smart and be safe, and realize that your parents do genuinely worry for you.
Most parents don't really realize that their concern can cross over into nosiness, and will step back if you point it out in a respectful and mature way. Believe it or not, parents aren't always out to smother you. Usually, they'll understand and respect your need for a little more privacy as a sign that you're actually becoming an adult.
Believe me, setting boundaries sets you free.
