On Tuesday, November 14th Seth Sutherland of Clermont, Florida took his life during a school fire drill.
Reading through the reports, you will see numerous accounts stating that the teen was happy and showed no signs of depression or suicidal thoughts. We, as a general population need to stop saying those words. It puts us in a powerless position. We should never say that no one knew; that makes it sounds like suicide isn't preventable. Why do we have suicide awareness if often there are no signs?
As I walk past people on the street, in stores, and in classrooms, I don't know who is experiencing trauma or depression or serious life changes. I don't know. But you know who does? Their closest friends and their family, their twitter and S napchat followers. Stop asking the general public if an individual seemed suicidal.
We might want to hear that these events aren't preventable.
It takes the pressure off of us if no one knew. And if this is the story we seek, this is the story that will continue to be released by outlets: the story of a teen battling depression in the safety of his bedroom, where no one else knew.
One news outlet spoke to the local crisis center director, Caree Jewell, and she discussed an important topic.
Asking someone if they're suicidal, will not increase their chances of suicide. So, be unapologetically forward about it. I know it could be scary to ask your child, or your best friend, or a twitter follower if they're suicidal, but it beats the alternative. One way that this boy in Clermont did show signs, was on social media. He said goodbye, and he said directly that he was being bullied.
I want to do something about this.
I have lost too many people in my life to accidents. And because of that I have learned to ask my friends not to drink and drive more often. And to ask people to text me when they get home if they're driving late at night. When tragedy strikes, we adjust and we learn so that it doesn't happen again. But when it isn't an accident, when it can be prevented, I don't want to wait until I've lost someone to suicide to talk about it. Teen suicide rates in the US have been on the rise in the past 10 years.
Being over cautious is worth it. Jokes about suicide are not always jokes.
And sometimes posting something distant on social media is easier than telling those closest to you how alone you feel. I see the posts about suicide awareness, and I see people drawing semi-colons on their arms. It's not enough yet. Suicide rates are increasing. We need to use our words. Not by just sharing a Facebook post. By talking to those around us. I want to see change, and I know I have to start with myself.
So here is my new goal: I am going to reach out to people on my contact list and in my classes and on social media when something seems off.
I don't care if they're my friend or not. I don't care if they blow me off or not. I'm going to ask them about their day. I'm going to ask them if they've been feeling depressed lately. I'm going to ask the taboo questions that make our stomachs turn. I'm going to do this because I don't want it to be taboo anymore. And I don't want to see in the news that there weren't any signs. Where there were signs, we weren't listening. We can't save everyone every time. But I will pour my heart into letting everyone I know see that they are unconditionally and deeply wanted.
November, 2017: I am thankful for my ability to make a change in others' lives and to spread hope and joy everyday that I'm alive. And I will do something with this ability.
