In the past few decades, the state of Florida has struck bad luck with the general elections. In 2000, the state required a massive vote recount that spanned for weeks. In 2012, the state continued to count ballots until days after Barack Obama had secured his second term. To prevent any potential problems for the upcoming election, officials at Florida’s Division of Elections office in Tallahassee have called down the help of counting professional Count von Count, or as he’s more commonly known, “the Count,” to assist Florida counties on Tuesday.
“I was working during both of the elections, and it was a nightmare,” said Ron Dunlap, the election official for the Division of Elections. “I tried to suppress the memories, but it’s hard to do that when you have to repeat it every four years.”
Dunlap was watching the popular PBS Kids program with his 3-year-old daughter when he realized the Count’s potential during the character’s segment, in which he audibly counted seven ducks in a pond. “Call me crazy, but he counts better than most adults I know. The man is a natural.”
When making the suggestion to the rest of the division, employee Susan Colbert was skeptical at first. “But then I realized, hell, we’re going to need all the help we can get. I never want to repeat what happened in 2000 or 2012. Get frickin’ Honey Boo Boo to help, I don’t care. I have kids and a husband who need to be fed.”
When reached for a comment, The Count said he was thrilled about the opportunity. "I've never had to count past the number ten. I am sure I will be counting more than that on Tuesday," he remarked. "I shall start practicing now! One ballot, ah ah ah! Two ballot, ah ah ah! Three ballot, ah ah ah!"
"I'm confident that with the help of the Count, we won't be spending so much time after the election still counting ballots," Dunlap chirped with excitement. "Maybe two or three days tops."Sesame Workshop required the Count to return on the Friday following the election as he will need to film his Number of the Day segments for upcoming episodes. When Dunlap suggested they instead film the segments in the Division office, "or even Walt Disney World," they refused to respond.