Two summers ago, I went on a community service trip to Hawaii. I would be doing work on Maui and Kauai, which for me, was a lifelong dream. Hawaii had always been this paradise that I dreamt about visiting. But it was always in my imagination. When the opportunity finally came for me to get the chance to go, I couldn't help but think about the possibilities. I was going to do amazing work with amazing people in one of the most beautiful places in the world.
On July 17, 2016, my parents dropped me off at Boston Logan International Airport and I embarked on what would end up being 10 hours of flying. My layover in Phoenix was very short, and I had to rush to get to my connecting flight. It was exciting to be flying alone and it felt like one of the first real adult things I had done.
Hawaii is amazing. It's not Hawaii I had a problem with. I adored every second I got to spend in that beautiful place. As crazy as this sounds, my trip leaders just seemed out to get me. I remember we had individual check-ins with a leader, and mine resulted in being knocked down repeatedly. My ideas were not accepted and my confidence was destroyed. I don't hate the leaders for having opinions. How could I? Everyone has opinions and everyone has a right to their own opinions, but as leaders I expected them to be kind and caring, instead of destructive and condescending.
For a few minutes, I sat there and took it. Then, my leader turned to me and said, "I can tell you really don't like yourself". As someone who grew up being taught to always take pride in the person you are, I couldn't sit there and let her say things that were just so wrong and disrespectful. My instinct was to stick up for myself, which is exactly what I did.
After seven days of a 21-day trip, I left Hawaii. I hope with my whole heart that no one has to go through anything similar to what I experienced. Service trips are supposed to be incredible experiences and I'd like to believe that if I had been on any other trip, it would have been a better experience. There are so many opportunities to do amazing things and I don't regret standing up for myself. This trip taught me to always take pride in who you are and that no one can tell you how you're feeling- only you know that.
I look back on this trip and laugh. It's a pretty great story to tell, and people love asking questions about it. I know this experience made me a better person and I don't regret any of it.
