From the moment I started working in a restaurant, I couldn't wait to turn eighteen and become a server. For whatever reason, it was my dream job as a child, because I thought people would just hand me money for being nice. Though there are days where I love it, there are days where I hate it. In my experience as a server, everything mentioned in this article brings out the WORST in people.
1. Ranch.
I love ranch dressing just as much as the next person, but sometimes it's just unnecessary. There is absolutely no reason to ask for "a bowl of ranch" (yes, I'm speaking from experience). Ranch does not belong on everything, and there is no reason to act aggressively over it. I have had countless tables ask me for ranch after they get their appetizer, and after running to the kitchen and grabbing their ranch, they're already done the appetizer. I've also brought people ranch only to have them ask me for more. So, I have come to the conclusion that ranch dressing brings out the worst in people.
2. Shirley Temples.
No one ACTUALLY likes these. People only ask for them because they're aesthetically pleasing. Not only are they disgusting, but they're annoying to make. Do you really think I want to mix grenadine and sprite and add cherries, just so your child can have the satisfaction of having a "kiddie-cocktail"? It's fine, I only have six other tables. If you're over the age of eight, don't ask me for one, you don't need it.
3. The Term, "Is It Possible___?"
Yes, it's very possible, but please stop beating around the bush and pretending you're polite. Instead of asking "Is it possible" every five seconds just say I would prefer___, can you do that for me?"
4. Separate Checks.
Either tell me in the beginning, or learn to use Venmo. Don't ask me for the check and then cringe when I hand it to you. Tell me when I take your order that you would like separate checks.
5. Birthday Cakes.
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I am so happy that someone cares enough about you to celebrate your birthday; however, I do not appreciate your Great Aunt Karen shoving a cake at me and telling me to run so I don't ruin the surprise. CALL AHEAD and we can arrange something, do not shove a cake at me and then make weird hand gestures from across the restaurant when you want me to sing. (I am clinically depressed and don't want to sing to your Nephew, so please don't cheap out on tipping if I'm singing Happy Birthday).
6. Gift Cards.
Congratulations, you got a gift card! No, you can't tip on a gift card, so please don't ask me where you write the tip. Maybe your gift card is for fifty dollars and your meal costs seventy-five, but please don't tip me based on the remaining balance, tip me based on the original bill. As much as I love being a server, $2.83 an hour doesn't cut it, so please don't skip out on tipping just because someone was kind enough to give you a gift card.
7. The Dreaded Question: "What Comes On___?"
READ THE MENU. Before you ask your server a question, please make sure the answer isn't already on the menu. I would be more than happy to further explain after you read the description. Please, do not ask, "What's this?" and point to the very long description.
8. "Do You Have Any Specials?"
Don't you think I would tell you? No, there are no specials unless they are listed somewhere in the restaurant. Asking about them will not make them magically appear, so please do your research.
9. Hand Gestures.
If you see me on the other side of the restaurant and you want a glass of water, please do not make pouring motions. Personally, I have visual ailments which makes it ten times more annoying when people wave their hands in front of my face. If you are deaf/hearing impaired, please sign me, but if you are not, then please be patient and wait for me to come over to you.
10. Shoulder tapping.
DO. NOT. TOUCH. ME. I know you want your change, but I am currently talking to another table. Touching me will not get you your change any faster, especially if another table is ordering. Just because I am young, female, and friendly does not mean I want to be touched.
