The 15th anniversary of September 11th came and went just like any other day for me this year. I was exploring Berlin, Germany for the first time and the combination of being in a new city and limited phone service caused me to overlook arguably one of the darkest days in our nation’s history. I was astonished when, in the airport in Berlin waiting to fly back to Copenhagen, my friend made a quiet comment under his breath. “I can’t believe it’s September 11th,” he said. In that moment I froze. What kind of American was I? Without the aid of social media or the morning news, I had completely overlooked the infamous day.

My friend and I took a couple moments, against the backdrop of the Schönefeld airport in Berlin, amidst people from across Europe and across the world, to swap our stories of where we were when the world stopped turning. I was humbled and sobered just has I have been every September 11th for the last 15 years, the only difference was that for the first time I was not on American soil and it took me until very late in the evening to reach that point of such melancholic patriotism.

It stunned me that I was able to just forget the day that singularly changed nearly every aspect of American life. Studying outside of the United States has given rise to an interesting dynamic within my identity of being a US citizen.

On the one hand, I have never been more proud to be an American citizen. Here in Denmark, being American is a novelty. Upon uttering just a few words sans the common Danish-laced English, I am immediately singled out and pounded with questions about my country and what it is like to live in the United States. Having to stop and explain seemingly ordinary aspects of my daily life in the United States causes me to reflect on how lucky I am to live in such a great country. I feel an overwhelming sense of pride when I catch a glimpse of an American flag or walk past a little kid wearing an American sports jersey of some kind.

To juxtapose that, I have never felt more out of touch with my country than I do right now. Whether it be the twists and turns of the presidential race or overlooking September 11th, if it weren’t for Facebook and my daily updates from The Skimm (which don’t come until 1:00 pm now that I’m living in Europe and that’s really throwing off my daily schedule but that’s a whole other story) I would have next to no idea what is happening in my country.

This newly developed duality of my American-ness is something I will most definitely be grappling with, both as the election draws closer in November and I become more familiar with and rooted in daily Danish life and my daily American life becomes a thing of the past. While my identity as an American citizen may be taking on a new form, one thing is for sure, I will always, forever and always, be proud to be an American.