First there was the landline telephone, then the Internet, and finally, cell phones. Before all of this, however, the main way to communicate with people was face-to-face by actually talking to them. *Gasp!* Oh no, the horror of actually having a conversation with someone you have a crush on. Yes, believe it or not, there was once a time when men told women how they felt while looking into their eyes. There was even a time when flowers were bought and delivered rather than a collage of photos being thrown together and a paragraph being written for someone's birthday. Could you imagine, the idea of paying attention to what someone is saying and communicating back to them your thoughts? I can. This is why you should too.

So, here’s an awkward situation. About a two years ago, there was a breast cancer walk at the university I attend, Ohio University, during mom’s weekend. With my mom being a cancer survivor, it was a no-brainer that we participated in the event. While I was there, I was distracted by a cute brunette that caught my eye who was there to walk with her mom as well. Let me tell you, this girl was gorgeous, and I mean out of this world. Did I say anything to her? Of course not.

Now, I never saw her after that until about a year ago on Court Street (the main drag in Athens, Ohio for those of you who are unfamiliar with the area). I was once again reminded of her perfection, down to her smile and even how she walked. She was just one of those people that's impossible to forget. Did I say anything to her? Of course not.

So, here comes the awkward part. A month or two ago I was scrolling through Facebook and almost fell out of my seat. There she was, on my timeline, we were Facebook friends, and I had absolutely no clue who she was. Naturally I followed her on Twitter and now I could tell you her name and things about her creating the illusion to an outsider that I know this girl. Now, that’s awkward and quite frankly my generation’s biggest problem. This form of communication that we know as social media has actually turned us more anti-social than social. I’m sure we have all been out to dinner with family and immediately pulled out our phones or have pulled out our phones when in a quiet situation with a stranger.

Most of the people in my generation, including me, have lost the idea of face-to-face contact, at least for serious and endearing moments, it seems. When was the last time you “creeped” on someone you find attractive upon finding out that they have some type of social media? I’m willing to bet it was fairly recent. Why do we do this? The only reason to do such a thing is because we are curious and want to know about this person. It seems harmless and innocent while you’re scrolling through their pictures or reading their bio. In all reality, it’s doing much more harm than good.

When reading a tweet, text message or Facebook status, we lose the meaning behind words. To put it in better terms, when you’re sick with a cold, sometimes it’s difficult for your taste buds to taste what you are eating, yet you know you are eating your favorite food. This is what basically happens when we rely on social media and other mediums to communicate. Listening to a person’s body language is a big part of face-to-face communication. When words are spoken to us, we get the other conscious and emotional signals behind them (the flavor of the food). There are vocal tones, facial expressions, eye contact, body language and the fidgeting of hands or pacing of a room. By noticing these subtle signs, we subconsciously put ourselves in the other person’s shoes and try to understand how they are feeling. Not only do we understand how to interact, we learn culture and trust through face-to-face contact.

One of the biggest factors that have changed over the years is our generation’s perception of time. This is the most important factor in a relationship between two human beings. Because of the easily accessible information on the Internet and social media sites, it makes us think that we don’t need to put a lot of time in towards getting to know someone before we are comfortable and realize that we are attracted to them on a more than physical level. The profiles, pictures we post and inner thoughts we let seep out at night to our followers disrupt the reality of “knowing” someone or not. We also might even be scared to put the time in to find out if a person is special or not due to the thought that we can get to know someone else a lot sooner. So, the thought process then becomes, Why should I even put the time in for Person X when Person Y seems to be more like me through what I read on Twitter and Facebook?

What do we get on Facebook? We can share a status, like a status, comment on a status and the ever-so-creepy “poking” of another person. What do we get on Twitter? There’s a favorite button, a retweet button, and we can even reply to another person in the second social universe. My computer actually just put one of those squiggly little red lines under the word “retweet” because it doesn’t even recognize it as real. I think that’s a sign. We have to realize that favoriting a tweet is not flirting, likes on Instagram don’t make you famous and not having any matches on Tinder doesn’t mean you’ll be single for life.

Where is the fun in getting to know someone anymore? With easy access, we can all read what our person of interest does, thinks and likes without taking the time to learn it ourselves. That’s what the beginning of a friendship or relationship is all about. I’m challenging all of us, including me, to get back to the basics of communication. Let’s take a page out of a book from our parents’ generation. Spontaneously call someone to talk instead of texting them. Stop that girl on the street that catches your eye and ask her about her day. Be bold and approach a guy for his number for a change, and tell your best friend you’re coming over to talk instead of cheering them up with emojis.

I'm not saying that we should completely stray away from text messaging or social media, however, I am saying that we should only let it coincide with certain parts of our real life and our love life or lack thereof, not being one of them. There are times when social media makes sense, and maybe it serves as an outlet to vent about certain matters, but in the end we must be smart and capable of separating the two different worlds.

Now, I'll leave you with this thought. I remember Matt Damon’s character in the movie "We Bought a Zoo," saying, “You know, sometimes all you need is 20 seconds of insane courage. Just literally 20 seconds of just embarrassing bravery.” This quote stuck with me because it doesn’t say anything about needing 140 characters of insane courage. We can all do it. I know we can. Let’s get back to the basics.