Summer is here and with that comes the chance for many of the activities we have waited for all winter and spring long. Family barbecues, swimming, baseball games, and for some kids, it means summer camp. My kids were never one of the lucky ones who went to camp in the summer. Mostly because the majority of them are crazy expensive. The other reason was that I wanted my children to do something productive over the summer. I wanted them to learn and grow in an environment that I made for them; one where I knew they were safe. This held true every year and for the most part my kids seemed OK with this decision. This summer, everything changed.
Let me explain what I mean. Last year, my family and I joined a new church. This particular church has many activities for children of all ages and one in particular is the opportunity to attend a Christian summer camp where they can grow in their faith and learn their place in the Christian community. Essentially, it helps them discover their talent and their passion and then guides them on ways they can use these to teach others about the faith. This is an amazing opportunity and one I couldn’t pass up.
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My younger two children are not old enough yet to attend, but oldest daughter is and this is the first time my little girl will be leaving home for more than one night. In fact, she will be away from home for a total of six days and five nights. This is a terrifying thought, on multiple levels. I am not worried that she will not be able to handle it, but rather those of us back at home will not. I am so used to waking on summer mornings and preparing three children for the day ahead. I am used to making dinner for five every night and I am most definitely not used to only kissing two children goodnight.
However, I fully and wholeheartedly believe that this separation will be good for both my husband and I, as well as my daughter. We have been holding on to her so tight for so long that sometimes I wonder if we have not been hindering her growth as an individual. While we have raised her to know how to take care of herself and how to hold herself accountable, we have not fully prepared her for those times when this is essential to making it through each day. I suppose now is as good a time as any to make this transition from who she is with us to who she is as an individual, after all, she only has three short years left before it’s time to choose which college she’ll attend. I’d rather her feel secure in who she is on her own now when it’s only a week long separation.
Am I a bad parent for holding on a little too tight to my kids? Perhaps. Is it possible that I am hindering their growth as people? Maybe. But will they ever doubt they are loved and have somewhere safe to come home to when the world gets a little topsy turvy? Absolutely not. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for them. I don’t care about sports medals or trophies or certificates for a job well done. I just want happy, loving, well-adjusted kids who will grow into well mannered, caring, and strong individuals. Ideally, this camp experience will help me with that. And if she has a little fun along the way, then so much the better.
