The Semi-Long-Distance Relationship

Many college students can relate to the struggle of the semi-long distance relationship; not being far enough away from your significant other for it to be considered long distance, but having that gap between you now that you’ve gone away to college that’s just far enough to make things difficult. Having gone to school only an hour and a half away from my hometown and my boyfriend who stayed there, i've experienced these struggles first hand over the last year. We don’t need to get on a plane or a train to visit one another, but we don't live in the same town anymore either, so scheduling a visit still takes a little bit of planning. It’s this annoying kind of “close-distance” that can make things easier, but at the same time comes with it’s own set of problems, unique to those that come with long distance relationships.

PROS

Obviously, being closer is a huge benefit. It’s easy to decide to visit over the weekends without the stress of having to put a big trip together like long distance couples do. Last minute pop-ins are always a possibility, and can sometimes be a much needed surprise if you’ve been missing each other. The stress of not knowing when you will be able to see each other next, or having to plan those trips throughout the year is nonexistent. Being only a car ride away makes it much more painless to visit.

CONS

Unfortunately, there are times when it seems like they’re closer, but not close enough. Being able to visit so much more frequently doesn’t make it a given that you’ll see your boyfriend or girlfriend every weekend even though it may start to feel that way. The expectations to visit with each other become much higher at times due to not being so far away. Sometimes this expectation can be more on one end of the relationship than the other, especially if only one of you has a car, making it seem to the other person that it should be no problem for them to hop in the car for an hour and a half to two hours and come visit. It can be easy for the person without a car to forget how tiring it is; making that trip over and over again that’s just long enough to be an inconvenience.

Cancellations are also more likely since it’s not as important a visit as it would be for a long distance couple. With long distance, the couple is more likely to make sure they set aside that few days to be spent together, and don’t schedule anything else during the visit since they know it’s their only chance to see each other for a while. With semi-long distance, if something comes up they’re able to say, “It’s not a big deal, I’ll just visit next weekend.” This can take a toll on a relationship. No matter how far away you are from one another, nothing is more disappointing than looking forward to a weekend with your sweetheart and having it cancelled at the last minute.

HOW DO YOU MAKE IT WORK

My boyfriend and I are proof that, although being that irritatingly close-yet-far distance from each other that puts it’s own kinds of stresses on our relationship, you can still make it work.

As far as making the trip goes, it’s important to take turns and keep the pressures of driving off of one person and divided evenly. If only one of you has a car, like in my situation, try bumming a ride off of a relative or friend every now and then to keep the stress of making that trip over and over again to a minimum.

Those little pop-ins can also be very beneficial. The little last minute surprise when you’ve got nothing else to do and are just missing them can mean a lot. Showing up unexpected, even for just a little while, shows you care and were thinking of them. No matter how near or far away you are, you still miss them every day, and these small visits can take away a little bit of the heartache just to be able to see them for a couple hours or a night.

When in any relationship involving distance, always remember to keep in touch. It’s important not to lose contact, and luckily this generation of IPhones and IMessage help us to keep in touch pretty much constantly throughout the day. But as easy as texting is, taking the time every now and then to make the phone call to each other and hear one anothers actual voices keeps a better connection.

Overall, you must be understanding. This goes for all relationships, but especially for semi-long distance when those last minute cancellations come around. Keep in mind it’s not their fault if something comes up or if they’re too busy to make that weekend work, and that what they say is true: they can always come next weekend. That’s when the benefits of being only semi-long distance can make up for the struggles. It won’t be long at all before you see them again.