Wait a minute… ‘selfishly caring’ is an oxymoron. How can you be both? Take a look at the first part of the first word: ‘self’ and add it to caring. Self-caring. I don’t mean self-care as in brushing your teeth, wearing clean clothes, and making sure you eat and stay hydrated. Self-caring here is referring to caring more about oneself than anyone else… ‘I’m superior above every other being.’ Few of us would honestly admit to this, but, well, I have this motive often. The whole ‘me, myself & I’ theology. This has become more and more the typical way of life and not just for America.

Think of the last time you decided to be selfish. You walk up to wait in a line and decide you don’t want to wait long, so you slyly maneuver your way past others. You’re driving and someone is not going the speed you want. To make sure this person knows you’re mad, you zoom past them once you have the chance (someone has done something like this to me before). How did I reply? By invisibly smack-talking the lovely lady who wheeled her way past the light while I got snuggled up in front of it. How about this? You just order your food, sit down to eat, and your friend asks you to share [or freely gives himself permission]. My dad is notorious for peeking his face in anticipation over my shoulder as I fix myself a snack. It’s like he’s hinting at the idea he wants what I’m making… for myself. Drives. Me. Crazy. Although I may have worked real hard to scoop that ice cream into that bowl and pour the hardened chocolate over it, it’s all a blessing from God and I should be glad to share with others what God has shared with me. You’re walked out of class and see someone who God is calling you to. *Moans, groans, and dead bones. “But God, I really want to get home. You know I wanted to watch my show, and I’m already halfway to my car. Couldn’t you have at least told me while I was still in class?” Maybe He did and we weren’t listening or maybe God has placed this person (or people) on that day and time because He wants to see (although He already knows) if we’ll be faithful.

(“Ugh, Cassie, why do you have to put it that way?”)

I won’t even go into the details of Black Friday.

Acts 4:32 says:

“All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had.”

Maybe you’ve heard of the phrase, “Sharing is caring.” This seems cheesy, corny, carroty, [whatever other food item you’d like to insert here], but it’s true. When we’re unselfish, we’re not on self and are actually gaining a better way of living: our eyes are opened to more than just us. The only way we can really be selfless is to have Christ in our hearts because He is the root of humility. It’s strange to think about Luke 9:25 above: by pleasing our own fleshly desires, we are actually losing ourselves. If believers are not on self, they’re on God, who is on others. Can you imagine sharing EVERYTHING? I cannot. For example, sharing my food sincerely bothers me at times, but my goodness, it’s going to eventually leave my system as though it never came in anyways! Can you fathom how Spirit-filled it must have been for everybody to share everything they had?

Truth is, I don’t deserve the A on my test no matter how hard I study. I don’t deserve to live in a home or have eternal life. I lost ten pounds, but I don’t deserve to eat that Recces’ mix from Braum’s. I don’t deserve a husband or kids. This sounds radical, but I dare say I’ve become accustomed to believing I deserve certain things when in fact, I don’t deserve anything good. But here’s the cool thing: because of Jesus, I’m blessed with good things.

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” –James 1:17

How do I reverse my self-caring? By caring. Praying for humility, being intentional with the way I act toward others. Not cutting people off in line or when driving, sharing my food (gonna have to really work on this one), being compassionate toward the one with a dirty look, having desires but not letting them consume me — instead of trusting God with them and serving others. I can be really selfish when I let the flesh rule, but when I get outside myself, I allow more of the Spirit in, and I’m no longer focusing on me. Not being selfish is a daily denial of self, looking into the interests of others (Philippians 2:3-4).

“Then he said to them all; ‘If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.” –Luke 9:23-24