You know that feeling when you look back at old selfies, and it feels like there’s a rock in your stomach after looking at the way your body used to look? Imagine looking at those pictures from high school when you were stick-thin and flat chested or when you still had your “baby fat”, and not having feelings of guilt, shame, and regret towards the way you look now. Imagine being able to love yourself the way you were then, and the way you are now. Learning to accept that your body changes as you get older is something everyone goes through. No one looks at pictures of themselves and doesn’t have at least one thing that they could point out as being wrong with their body.
I look at pictures from when I was sickest and wish I could go back to looking that way. Then I remember how miserable and weak I was, and those times seem less appealing. When I look at pictures of when I first left treatment, I feel disgusted that I ever let myself look like that, but I remember was also happier then. I’m still trying to find that middle ground with accepting my body for what it is, and trusting that it will be at the weight it’s supposed to be at. When I start to judge the way my body looks now in pictures, it’s helpful when I remember that in the moments that photo was taken, was I really caring what I looked like, or if I was enjoying what I was doing and who I was with so much more?
“Selfies” are a huge phenomenon in our culture. It’s not merely just the teenage generation; even your grandparents are posting selfies these days! As you scrolled through your Instagram or Facebook before rolling out of bed this morning, I’m sure you looked past plenty of selfies posted by your friends. Duck faces, #ootd mirror pics, or just a bright smile, selfies are everywhere. When we post these selfies, we’re almost always sending a message, looking for a response, or showing off our daily makeup or outfits. There are so many #transformationtuesday & #throwbackthursday posts, showing weight loss or bashing the way you used to look. Thousands of apps give us the opportunity to use filters to cover up our so-called “imperfections” in our photos.
Letting go of unrealistic body goals and learning to accept your body as it is naturally is a huge step in recovering from self-hate. We need to stop calling thin girls wearing crop tops a “slut”, and stop telling curvier girls that wear them they shouldn’t. Selfies can be more than being preoccupied with our appearance in a superficial way. In a world of constant advertising of before and after pictures for diet pills and work out plans, it’s time to do before and after pictures of self-acceptance. Imagine how much happier we could be if we weren’t so consumed?
“If tomorrow, women woke up and decided they really liked their bodies, just think how many industries would go out of business.”
