The act of snapping a selfie has become more emblematic of millennial culture than even the infamous avocado toast. It carries all the eye-rolling connotations of the newest adult generation: laziness, narcissism, fixation on a false digital world. And it happens a lot, whether it be at a concert or Sunday brunch or the Grand Canyon, which makes it easy to mock. But do selfies deserve the ridicule that they so often receive?

By no means.

Many people have pointed out that the target of selfies as representing narcissism is beyond laughable, considering that obsession with one’s own image is far from a new phenomenon. Keep in mind, just for instance, the tremendously expensive paintings of themselves that aristocrats have been commissioning for hundreds upon hundreds of years--and that’s to say nothing of early photography and daguerreotypes. The more you think about it, the more that “vanity” is a pretty shallow criticism of what’s come to be called “selfie culture.” Sure, some of us curate Instagram galleries, but the eighteenth century equivalent of our selfies have entire museum wings dedicated to showcasing them.

Of course, that’s not to say that having portraits painted and daguerreotypes captured is the same as slamming out twenty Snapchat selfies in an hour. On the contrary, there’s a vital difference: the modern selfie, at least before color editing and filters come into the picture, is a genuinely authentic photograph. There aren’t hours of prop selection and careful posture arrangement, and there certainly is no flattering painter’s selectivity involved. Androids, iPhones, and webcams aren’t biased. We see ourselves exactly as we are, and, crucially, we learn to love what we see.

A disproportionate amount of personal value is attached to physical appearance. This isn’t at all ideal, but, like so many social norms and constructs in our world, it remains real and impactful. And, like all things, it is also deeply tied to lines of systemic prejudice. People of color, women, LGBT people (especially transfeminine folks), disabled/differently abled people, and overweight people are all targeted for their appearances with exhausting frequency, and this isn’t just a matter of annoyance: it can lead to violence, social isolation, profound mental health damage, and even suicide. To be able to capture one’s face, declare oneself beautiful, and receive a rush of enthusiastic agreement from one’s social media followers is absolutely invaluable. It reminds us that there is no single standard of beauty. It helps us appreciate our flaws, and to see ourselves as perfect in our own way. In a world so bent upon image, this can make the difference necessary to ease dysphoria, soothe eating disorders, battle social anxiety, and prevent suicide.

So consider thinking twice before you mock someone for their selfie obsession. It’s impossible to know whether someone is struggling with deep self-perception issues, and even if they aren’t, it’s no one’s business but their own if they want to show off how good their hair is looking on prom night. Cynicism and self-criticism is tremendously overrated. Tell someone they’re beautiful instead.