In the past few years, the term self-love has become somewhat of a buzz word in our society and it can often seem as though everyone else has made it to this magical place of complete and utter satisfaction with their bodies when, in reality, most people have yet to arrive at this destination.
And I don't say this from a self-deprecating, pessimistic place; quite the opposite actually. I'm saying this because I have so often been left feeling confused and isolated when I felt perpetually dissatisfied with my body.
Don't get me wrong, I'm so happy that the media is slowly but surely becoming more loving of all shapes and sizes but it is still missing a certain level of transparency. And that transparency is that even the most confident people still struggle.
And maybe they no longer struggle every single day but we all have days, weeks, months, or even years when we don't love something about who we are. And that struggle is valid. I feel like so often self-love is portrayed as a characteristic that is omnipresent and unwavering when, at least for me, it is a fleeting mindset that I nonetheless work toward.
Although it would be much easier to pursue loving yourself with the promise that one day your struggle would be over, there is so much beauty in the journey. And at least for me, one of the best parts about this journey is that I can encourage other people to love themselves just as they are.
For me, seeing other people be confident is what inspired me to step outside of the box that was placed over me by society. And although I can't yet say that I love everything about myself, I can say that I am trying. And I am trying earnestly. And the fact that I am trying is enough.
At the end of the day, I have come to terms with the fact that I might always have things about myself that I am dissatisfied with. But by living as my trust, authentic self, I will eventually retrain my mind to reject the narratives placed there by society. I am trying to give myself the grace to acknowledge that it's okay to feel what I feel. And in the same breath, I am retraining my mind to realize that I am so much more than my insecurities.
The only reason that these insecurities exist is that we live in a society that constantly reinforces an extremely narrow idea of what it means to be beautiful. I am trying to find the balance between loving myself as I am while also seeking to treat my body kindly. There are a time and a place for self-improvement but these two things are not mutually exclusive.
In fact, when your motivation comes from a place of love, it is much more sustainable. All that you truly have in this world is yourself, your body, and your identity. And as hard as it is sometimes, it is so important that you be at home in your own skin.
Even just in the past three or four months, I have come so far in my self-love journey and am much more confident because of it. You deserve to be at ease in your own skin. You deserve to wear clothes that make you feel beautiful and empowered.
You deserve to be able to have a drink or go out for ice cream without immediately wondering how and when you're going to work it off. You deserve to think about something other than what other people perceive you as. Not to mention, we are unable to see ourselves as others do.
And most of the time, the reflection that we see in the mirror is much more distorted than what other people see. Self-love is a battle between being your worst critic and your biggest cheerleader. I recently heard someone talking about self-love and it truly hit home. She said, "I love myself, but I hate myself".
And unless you've struggled with self-image, this probably won't resonate with you as much as it does with me. I want to celebrate myself for all that I am rather than resenting myself for everything that I am not.
Self-love is not an easy thing to practice. In fact, it's one of the hardest things you will ever have to do because as cliche as it is, self-love is a journey, not a destination.
